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How the Church Can Engage Our Transgender Neighbors

How the Church Can Engage Our Transgender Neighbors

Real people. Real circumstances. Real prayers.

That’s what I see more and more as I read the Scriptures.

Real people struggling to understand and trust a holy God.

Real circumstances in which people try to navigate a broken and sin-soaked world.

Real prayers of those turning to God for truth and hope.

Imagine a person gathered each week with your church family. They are experiencing thoughts and feelings they don’t know what to do with. They don’t see themselves fitting the general gender stereotypes placed before them. They are confused and praying to God. Would they know how to engage you or your church family?

Imagine a person walking through your church’s doors for the first time. They’ve been invited by a friend, but aren’t sure what to expect. They have walls built up and have heard that Christians don’t like people like them. They’ve heard God doesn’t like people like them. They are afraid; perhaps defensive. Would they know how to engage you or your church family?

The transgender movement has been one of the most volatile social movements of recent decades. The church can easily feel ill-equipped, unprepared and unsure about how to handle our society’s broad acceptance of, and encouragement toward, a genderless or gender-fluid world.

This is the second article in a short series about transgenderism and the church. In the first article, “The Church and the Transgender Moment,” I attempted to provide definitions. Simply knowing what our transgender neighbors are thinking, experiencing and saying can hopefully help us enter the conversation with the mind of Christ.

In this article, I ask us as the church to evaluate how we can best love and walk in the Gospel with our neighbors outside and inside the church who may be struggling with transgenderism.

What Our Transgender Neighbors Need

What our transgender neighbors need is the same thing the pastor, the liar, the small group leader, the addict and the suburban soccer mom need: The Gospel of Jesus Christ. Transgender people don’t need a different gospel. Like all of us in a broken and fallen world, they need to turn from the kingdom of self, surrender to Christ as King and trust Him daily in new resurrected life. 

The good news for the church is that we know the Gospel. We have the Bible. We may not have a lot of training or a gender-studies degree from Harvard, but we can introduce people to Jesus. Could it be difficult walking through the Bible, wrestling with big questions and sharing the love of Jesus with a transgender neighbor? Absolutely. Frankly, it’s hard for me to walk through the Bible, wrestle with big questions and share the love of Jesus with myself! Ease is not our Gospel paradigm.

A hopefully helpful paradigm for our churches to adopt in engaging our transgender neighbors is simply this: be clear about the whole Gospel. As many have done before, we can attempt to explain the Gospel clearly as Creation, Fall and Restoration.

Creation

When we speak of creation, it’s important we talk not only about God as Creator, but also what He has created. In speaking of His creation, it is vital we not only address the “no” or boundaries, but the “yes” and what protection, provision and flourishing those boundaries provide.

Statistically, 80-85 percent of children or youth who identify as transgender will ultimately end up identifying with their birth sex. Gender confusion at this stage often can result from one not relating to gender molds placed before them. To engage a sexually questioning culture, we must affirm and uphold God’s design of male and female, but also ensure we are providing biblical definitions—not re-applying cultural definitions. It is true a lot of men like sports, the outdoors and the combination of meat with fire. There is nothing wrong with that. However, that is not biblical manhood.

We must be willing to ask: does our church have room for the man who doesn’t like sports or the woman who does? Do we clearly define, emphasize and celebrate the biblical man who faithfully takes the initiative in leading his home toward Christ, yet prefers an art brush to a rifle? Do our youth understand that what they enjoy does not define their gender, but can be used within their gender to create a wonderful spectrum of people God calls and uses in obedience to Him?

Are we a church that affirms and celebrates the single adult the way Paul celebrates them in his first letter to the Corinthians? The church must be the champion of God’s gender definitions and uphold the roles of biblical manhood and womanhood, but not first filter them through cultural ideologies. We must teach on difficult passages and champion those who follow Christ well in marriage as well as singleness.

Fall

While this is reductionistic, we could say the God of Genesis 1 created the genders of Genesis 2, and they were broken in Genesis 3 where we live today. It is important that we emphasize all three aspects of this narrative. We live in a world of distortion—particularly sexual distortion. Even some of the most instrumentally recognized people in Scripture displayed sexual brokenness—David committed adultery and let his eyes go where they shouldn’t. Rahab was a prostitute. Judah slept with his daughter-in-law whom he thought was a prostitute (not to mention Noah, Solomon, and others).

One of the biggest questions for people with gender dysphoria in our midst is, “Why would God make me this way if it is wrong?” Upholding what God created in Genesis 1-2 reminds us how we are created, but pointing to Genesis 3 helps us remember how we are broken. As the church, we must be those who embrace, sympathize and empathize with all who are broken and come together under the cross of Christ. The phrase, “It’s okay not to be okay, but it’s not okay to stay that way” must be the church’s refrain as we all come to grips with our condition.

Restoration

While we are all broken images—holding innate distortions of what we are meant to be—we must continually remind each other that the story doesn’t end at Genesis 3, but calls us forward to Revelation 21-22, when all things are restored and made new for those in Christ.

In the meantime, just as Paul exhorted the Corinthians in relation to their sin, sexual brokenness and dysphoria, we must also exclaim, “And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God” (1 Cor. 6:11).  God may never change those desires, but God certainly is in the business of changing lives to be used for His glory and our good in the church.

Our transgender neighbors need to know we are all tempted by innate desires that run contrary to truth. It is not those desires, but what we do with them that makes us who we are. The Bible invites us to cast off our old way of life, lay down our desires at the feet of Jesus and walk in resurrected obedience to Him. When one comes to Christ, God doesn’t remove them from the sinful world. He does enable them, however, to recognize this world is not our home. One day, God will restore us and make all things new. We can all look forward to that day together.

Acts chapter 8 records one of the first conversions to Christianity. Interestingly, this man was a eunuch—one who had been physically altered to embrace a dis-gendered existence—someone who might be referred to today by the transgender definition, “Gender Queer.” The Holy Spirit led Philip directly to him. What was of interest was not his sexual status or capabilities, but his question—“What does this Scripture mean, and who is the Messiah?” He was a real person in real circumstances with real prayers.

Let those of us in Christ remember that we share the same baptismal waters that called to that eunuch. We share the same confession of Christ’s lordship and look forward to a renewed day, secured by the resurrection of Jesus. The Gospel extends hope, joy, family and redemption beyond what often fits the definitions we are used to. Let us do the same.

The Church and the Transgender Moment: Part 1

The Church and the Transgender Moment: Part 1

In a recent interview, Grammy award winning singer/songwriter Sam Smith revealed he considers himself to be non-binary sexually and has considered a sex change. He stated, “Maybe I’m not a man, maybe I’m not a woman, maybe I’m just me.”

What is your church prepared to do with this?

What Sam is offering is an embodiment of our cultural transgender moment. The church has largely been at arm’s length from transgenderism. Many would assume, or prefer, transgendered ideologies to be outside the purview of the church. A problematic question, however, presents itself: Is transgenderism outside the purview of the Gospel?

This topic can be extremely uncomfortable for many within the church. Discussing definitions and asking difficult questions about transgenderism must come from within the church and be to the glory of God and for the edification of the church. To this end, I intend to offer a short series of articles outlining our transgender moment and how the church can respond with Biblical faithfulness, Gospel compassion and an offering of hope and truth through Jesus Christ. This is part one of the series and hopefully offers a helpful definition of transgenderism.

What is Transgenderism?

The native tongue of gender across religious and cultural boundaries for millennia has been a language of male and female distinction. While this division has adopted various forms and expressions, the idea that there are boys, girls and differences between the two, has been the dominant opinion and observation. However, a new language is presenting itself whose echoes and accents are becoming more prevalent in our common dialogue – unbridled by distinctions deemed “traditional.”

Transgenderism is a term many Christians have heard, but could likely not accurately define. Basically, transgenderism is expressed when one feels one’s biological sex and gender are incongruent. Transgender activist Chaz Bono explains the concept and belief: “There’s a gender in your brain and a gender in your body. For 99 percent of people, those things are in alignment. For transgender people, they’re mismatched. That’s all it is. It’s not complicated, it’s not neurosis. It’s a mix-up. It’s a birth defect, like a cleft palate.”

Historically, one’s sex and gender have been identified at, or before, birth based on one’s chromosomes and anatomy. However, this biological identification of gender, in some cases, can conflict with one’s inner feelings of being male, female, neither or both. This conflict is known as gender dysphoria. Studies suggest that between 1 in 10,000 and 1 in 13,000 males and between 1 in 20,000 and 1 in 34,000 females identify with this condition.

A primary contention of transgender advocates is that gender is in the mind, not the body. Whereas one’s bodily sex may be determined by biology, transgender individuals believe thoughts and feelings determine one’s gender. According to a 2016 statement from the American College of Pediatricians, “No one is born with a gender. Everyone is born with a biological sex. Gender (an awareness and sense of oneself as male or female) is a sociological and psychological concept, not an objective biological one.”

A second assertion of the transgender community is that gender is fluid. Since individuals may fall anywhere along a continuum in identification with sexual constructs, a gender binary system is considered rigid and restrictive. In her book Gender Trouble, transgender activist Judith Butler concludes, “It is only through the mediation of (a) series of social practices that the body becomes gendered at all: the body…is not a ‘being’, but a signifying practice within a cultural field of gender hierarchy and compulsory heterosexuality.”

Transgender advocates also contend that one’s sex, gender identity and gender expression are each unique in form and function. Since gender expressions are considered merely cultural, one may choose to adopt a gender expression that is either congruent with their biological sex, their perceived gender, neither or both. A person born with male chromosomes and sexual organs may identify as a gendered female, but still choose the gender expression of maleness – adopting culturally male garments, styles, and physical features. Likewise, a person born in a traditionally female body may identify as a gendered female but express herself culturally as a male. In recent times, she may be referred to as a tomboy.

For transgendered individuals who desire congruence between their biological sex and perceived gender, medical procedures are increasingly encouraged to help bridge the gap between gender identity and sex. Traditionally, this has included a four-step treatment process of social transition, puberty blockers, cross-sex hormones and gender reassignment surgery.

The transgender movement has moved with shocking velocity in recent years. In less than two decades, transgenderism has progressed from being a perceived mental disorder to a protected community under the banner of civil rights. Transgenderism as a viable, socially acceptable, even celebrated way of life has been one of the most powerful shifts in modern social history.

The Church and Transgenderism

How then should the church respond to our transgender moment? First, the church must understand the moment and its definitions. Second, the church must understand what it believes about human sexuality, why it matters and what the Bible openly discusses in relation to male/female realities.

The church must be willing to ask questions of itself and our transgender neighbors. While not agreeing with the assertions of transgender activists, the church may need to engage channels of dialogue previously unopened. Followers of Christ historically have been surprised at where Jesus’s footsteps have led them – or more accurately, whom they have led them to. Jesus’ disciples often found themselves in the homes of tax collectors, in the company of prostitutes and in conversation with those they considered beneath their attention. Why? Because that’s where Jesus went.

The church must also recognize that there are those within our fellowship who find themselves wrestling with the fact that their feelings and the gender models placed before them do not line up. They are filled with questions and need an outlet for discussion. Where will they go to have this conversation? Our world has already created the dialogue and has answers that lead to a community with open arms. What will they find in the church?

To be clear, the church does not need to embrace the transgender moment – but we may need to consider the way we embrace transgender people. The blood of Christ does not stop at a levy of sexuality. While we need not give our affirmation, we need to be conversant with the issues of our day in order to introduce the Gospel. We must know and speak the truth, but do so in love as those who like everyone else have no hope apart from Jesus Christ.

Family Worship Is Hard—And Worth It

Family Worship Is Hard—And Worth It

“And so God gave the land to His people.”

I closed the colorfully illustrated pages of Joshua and the crumbling walls of Jericho and looked up at my two-year-old. She was playing with a stuffed purple dog that sings songs about bears and the color pink. Had she even noticed I was reading? I’m honestly not sure.

I said “Let’s pray” and bowed my head. She screamed, “No! No! No!”

I thanked God for the sacrifice of Jesus Christ. I asked that we would honor Him throughout our day. I said Amen.

I looked up to see her laughing at the cat who was standing beside her chair licking up fallen Cheerio crumbs.

Worship.

As a father, regularly engaging in family worship is one of the most challenging things I do. As far as return on investment goes, I sometimes wonder about the effectiveness of those few minutes before bed and those early moments at the breakfast table.

Is it worth the time, effort, energy and chaos?

Let me encourage you: Yes. Yes. And Yes.

In modern Christian culture, it is easy for us to focus on what Zack Eswine calls, “large things famously and fast.” Unfortunately, that paradigm doesn’t work for discipleship or sanctification. There is a reason Jesus used largely-agricultural terms to describe the process of Christian growth. The process involves waiting, planting, watering, feeding and waiting. Your family’s spiritual growth will be less large and famously fast and more what Eugene Peterson described as, “long obedience in the same direction.”

A significant part of that long obedience is family worship in the home. The home must be the front line of the Gospel. How can we institute practices that make our homes spiritual greenhouses for Christian growth? I offer four hopefully helpful ideas:

1. Use the Scripture

As much as anything, family worship is habit-forming modeling. Developing a regular pattern of priority in your home is essential. Centering that habit on the right things is vital. Whether your child is 1 or 17, use the Scripture. The Bible must be your primary text for family worship because it is the Word for all of life.

There are great children’s Bibles that point to the metanarrative of the gospel and amplify the echoes of Jesus in every passage. When looking for a children’s Bible, don’t just get one that pulls moral lessons from a story; find a Bible that points to Jesus and the Gospel throughout every story. If your children are older, share reading opportunities and insights with them. Don’t be afraid to let your children ask questions. Sometimes, “I don’t know, but let’s find out” is the best answer.

The Big Picture Story Bible is an excellent resource for Scripture reading with children.

2. Make It Memorable

Making family devotions fun is good, but not primary. If you are only attaching the Bible to fun, as soon as something more fun comes along, it is easy for your child to ditch the Bible and find it irrelevant – even childish. Two of the best ways to make family worship memorable are singing and catechism. 

You may not be able to carry a tune but don’t worry. Your kids don’t need you to be a great singer; they need you to be a faithful parent. A simple song we use every day goes like this:

Father, thank you for this day,

Jesus, for the price You paid,

Holy Spirit, lead the way,

Thank you, God!

What is the tune? It doesn’t matter. Make one up. Singing little songs like this not only create memorable thought patterns for our families, they also teach us doctrine. Another great way to infuse doctrine into your family devotions is through catechism. Don’t be afraid of that word. It just means short questions and answers to help us learn about God, the church, Jesus, sin and other essential fixtures of the Christian faith.

Lifeway’s Big Picture Questions & Answers for Kidsis a fantastic, trustworthy resource.

3. Don’t Overthink It.

Keep it short. Keep it simple. Keep it light. I remember, just a few months after my oldest was born, sitting with him watching Albert Mohler videos (president of Southern Seminary) explaining the doctrine of penal substitutionary atonement. While I want my children to know and trust this doctrine, it might have been a bit much for someone still learning what a square is.

Family worship does not have to be long, but it needs to include the foundational elements of Christian devotion that you want your children to develop later in life. Read the Scripture. Pray. Sing truths. Keep it around 5 minutes. Don’t overthink it.

4. Do It Over and Over and Over Again.

We allocate time for, and intentionally repeat, what is important to us. Our children are noticing and will pick up the habits we employ. If it is difficult for a season, commit to lead through that season. If you have a terrible day, commit to the next day. When you get through Revelation, go right back to Genesis. Do it over and over and over again. You will strengthen the spiritual muscles in your own heart and in the hearts of your children.

Family worship can be difficult. It’s difficult for me. But so is anything worth doing in this life. You may not see the fruit for decades, but plant the seeds now. Water the seeds, shine the light of the Gospel and pray fervently for your family—trusting the Spirit to do His work for God’s glory in your home.

Protecting Your Church From Sexual Abuse

Protecting Your Church From Sexual Abuse

Editor’s note: The following does not constitute legal advice, as the writer is not a licensed advisor on sexual abuse prevention. The Baptist General Convention of Oklahoma suggests readers visit MinistrySafe.com for legal consultation to help churches and other ministries reduce the risk of sexual abuse.  


Like many of you, I was shocked and deeply saddened by the Houston Chronicle’s three-part exposé on sexual abuse within Southern Baptist churches. My heart breaks for the victims, their families and the echoes of suffering these survivors face daily. I hate anything that gives Christ a black eye and this revelation of sin within His bride—the church—is dreadful.

While the disclosure from the Houston Chronicle is thorough and justified, research has opened a wound for our churches. I have been grateful to God for the leadership of the Southern Baptist Convention (SBC) in their responses. Instead of denial or public relations gymnastics, they have embraced the news with resolve, compassion, repentance and justice.

SBC churches are autonomous in our governance. While leadership can form policies, practices and other proactive measures, the responsibility of protection lands at the local church level.

Admittedly, many of our local churches are unprepared or overwhelmed by the sense of duty and desire to protect the least of these in our midst from the depravity of sexual abuse. For churches at the local level wondering where to start, I offer four ways to help protect your church from sexual abuse.

Meaningful Membership

Meaningful membership has caused debate and discussion amongst local churches. Southern Baptists have historically offered an aisle of invitation and a welcome hand to receive those who desire to come and unite with our local bodies as church members. This is a vital and important part of our local church practice.

However, Scripturally, at the minimum, a church member is someone who is a surrendered follower of the Lord Jesus Christ. They are someone who has publicly made a profession of faith through baptism and shows the fruit of repentance as a sign that the Holy Spirit indeed lives and works within them. Do you know this is true about your church members?

Membership in our churches, in most cases, should be a baseline pre-requisite for serving in the body—particularly with children or youth. Knowing our members come from different backgrounds before conversion and struggle with various aspects of depravity, someone in leadership should know not only that a member is trusting and believing the Gospel, but whether or not they are qualified to lead, teach or protect in a service capacity. At minimum, this requires a background check and training of some sort if someone desires to serve in one of these areas.

Membership in our churches must be more than a name on a roll. Membership must mean certain things for our churches. While unfortunate, church members can certainly be the ones through whom sexual abuse comes. We owe it to our flocks to guard the front gate with diligence, care and proactive measures to keep wolves from entering with the sheep.

Build Bridges With Local Law Enforcement

God may have placed someone in local law enforcement in your church family. If so, use them as a resource to learn not only what to do if abuse is reported, but also what signs to look for, and what procedures to implement in order to protect the church family from abuse.

If you do not have a local law enforcement officer in your church, call your local police department and ask pointed questions. Build relational bridges between the church and local law enforcement to know whom to call, when to call and how to protect your church from sexual abusers.

Evaluate Practices and Procedures

Practices and procedures are only as good as their continual application. If you don’t have written practices and procedures in place, form a team, do the research, involve law enforcement, craft a document, thoroughly communicate it, then communicate it some more.

If you do have a document, regularly assess how it is being followed and implemented in your church. Evaluate your practices and procedures with the idea that someone will try to maneuver through them in order to sexually abuse a young one in your midst. That is a difficult idea to stomach, but assuming no one will target your church will lead to sloppy practices and open doors for abuse.

We want to be open to anyone seeking to turn from their sin and run to new life in Christ. However, to anyone approaching our facilities or activities with a desire to harm, our preparation in advance should sternly warn them that our programs and facilities are not safe places for their strategies.

Create An Open Culture For All

The message of the Gospel is a call for the broken and oppressed to come find new life in Jesus by rejecting their old ways of sin and depravity and embracing new life in Christ empowered by the Spirit. Our churches must create a culture that embraces this Gospel call for everyone.

Every Sunday morning, in our congregations, there are those who have been victims of sexual abuse as well as those who are in danger of becoming victims through a variety of avenues. Do those people know they can and should open up to church leadership about sexual abuse? Does your church have a culture of openness and honesty about our depraved nature and broken world? We must continually sound the call for openness, dialogue and healing through the cross of Christ. Our people must know that our churches are safe spaces for talking about abuse.

Something that may be difficult to consider about God’s call for sinners to new life in Christ is that each week in our congregations, there are also likely those who have either been the abuser or are in danger of becoming an abuser. Do they know the Gospel is for them too? Do they know that the church is a safe place for openness, accountability and growth away from a life of sin? Of course, proper procedures and practices must safeguard our churches, but we must also be willing to walk with those who feel they may have disqualified themselves from the blood of Christ due to depravity in their present or past. Jesus’s blood is enough to cover every sin.

Clearly, we in the SBC—from elected leadership to membership—have failed to take seriously the necessity of proactive and effective measures to prevent child abuse and protect those who suffer in its wake. For that, we must continue to extend compassion, repentance and due diligence in every area.

I wish I could say that employing these strategies will 100 percent safeguard your church from sexual abuse. Yet on this side of heaven, no organization, group, facility or structure is immune from the effects of sin. But may our diligence reflect our desire for Christ to be exalted in our local church bodies. May we receive the weakest among us as we would receive Christ Himself.

Let us prepare with love, care and determination that as far as it depends on us, nothing will get in the way of our declaring the good news of Jesus Christ to those in our midst.

Why People Won’t Leave Your Church

Why People Won’t Leave Your Church

If you were to guess, why would you say people stay at your church? Come up with a short list.

Now imagine a church moved in across the street that did each of those things a bit better—even bigger. Would people stay at your church?

In a flashbang culture that leads by sound bites and microwave convenience, it is easy for us to focus on improvements of immediacy in our churches. In the words of Zack Eswine, we want “large things famously fast.”

You want a young pastor? Our new guy is 12.

You want louder music? Our amps go to 11.

You want more friends? We’ve got Ross and Monica.

You want a more fun children’s ministry? We just annexed Disneyland.

Let me be clear: these things are not bad in and of themselves (except for the 12-year-old pastor. That’s ill-advised). I am all for quality music, aesthetic facilities and engaging children’s ministries. We certainly should do all we can to make our churches welcoming, comfortable and communicative for the Gospel without unnecessary distraction.

But someone’s pastor will be 11.

Someone else’s amps will go to 12.

Someone else will have more friends. 

Someone else’s children’s ministry will annex Universal Studios and be led by the Avengers.

Sadly, what happens in many of our churches, in attempting to keep our seats filled, we become so focused on the means that we relegate the message to the background. Or worse, we make the message a pragmatic means to our ultimate numerical goal.

Pastor, leader, church member, if I may offer a word of encouragement: Trust the Gospel. Trust the Word. Trust the slow and steady process of discipleship.

Evaluation and assessment are always good in the church, and we never want anything to be offensive except the Gospel. But as we survey our facilities and hold our meetings of evaluation, start first at biblical faithfulness and Gospel understanding. Never assume the Gospel in your church. Never assume because you have Bible verses in your sermons that you are teaching the Bible to your congregation.

When your church is focused on the Gospel through God’s Word, members won’t leave because they found bigger/better. There is no bigger/better. The great thing about the Word of God is you can never make Truth more true. The power of the Gospel isn’t measured in wattage and decibels. In preaching Jesus, you know there’s not a bigger and brighter Savior moving in across the street.

Sadly, yes, people in your church may leave. They may even leave for bigger/brighter things. That’s not necessarily in your control. What you can control is ensuring people won’t leave your church for lack of Gospel faithfulness and thorough teaching of God’s Word.

A wise man once told me, “What you win them with is what you win them to.” If we reach our community with gimmicks, production and moral self-help platitudes, we may get more people in our doors, but they will leave once we have a rough week, a less bold idea or someone else moves in with resources to do it bigger, bolder and brighter.

However, if the center of your church is the clear communication of the Gospel through God’s authoritative, sufficient, inerrant Word, then no one can beat that. No one can outshine the glory of God if your church is truly upholding Christ crucified, resurrected and seated on the throne.

In fact, when that is the focus of your church, you can celebrate when the new guy moves in across the street with a bigger platform or louder band who is also truly sharing that same faithful Gospel message through exegesis of the same Word. Your goal is the same.

You can deliver hard truths and discuss difficult topics because you’re not concerned about seating capacity. Your goal is faithfulness in letting God’s Word speak. In other words, the weight of the church is not on you; it’s on the authority of the Bible and the shoulders of Christ where it belongs.

When we focus on the means, we are always measuring our church.

When we focus on the Gospel, we are measuring the endless grace of God in Christ.

“And I, when I came to you, brothers, did not come proclaiming to you the testimony of God with lofty speech or wisdom. For I decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. And I was with you in weakness and in fear and much trembling, and my speech and my message were not in plausible words of wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power, so that your faith might not rest in the wisdom of men but in the power of God” (1 Cor. 2:1-5).