by Ryan Smith | Nov 11, 2013
It’s early. I’m dressed up on a weekend. Walking through halls of flowers and Hobby Lobby decorum, I’m wrapped in shades of mauve and taupe leading to a larger room with different shades of mauve and taupe (is that periwinkle I see?) to sit for an hour. During that hour, I will see a guy telling me to be more, do more, quit looking at porn, get a haircut, and point to a picture of a thoughtful effeminate-looking man with Pantene hair, South Beach body, and Oil of Olay skin saying, “Why can’t you be more like Him?”
After a few more songs about how much we love that effeminate man, how we want to be in His embrace, and asking Him to be with us, we shuffle out amongst the crowd, pretending we understand, agree with, and are doing all the things the “moral superman” said from the stage. “Just get me home,” we think. “There is football at home.”
For many men, this is church. And in many places, the church is screaming, “This is not for you!” It looks like a safe place to keep your wife busy, your kids off drugs, and make it seem in some way that you are doing the right thing for your family and maybe “earning a few points with the Big Man.”
Then you get the invitation. It’s to a man-specific church event to draw in the men and make them love being manly men modeled after “The Man.” The mauve is covered by camo. There are guns, hunting lessons, fishing tips and all the smoked meat you can eat with your bare hands. See? The church is relevant to men!
At the other end we have MMA pastors in Affliction t-shirts stroking their beards and cursing at us from the book of Ezekiel. Men yell more, read more John Piper and aren’t afraid to down a beer for the glory of God! See? The church is relevant to men!
My intent is not to debate, demoralize or bemoan these things in the church. They can be great tools.
But what are we teaching men about being godly men? Do we care more about taking a man through Field & Stream than 1 Timothy? Could it be we uphold a culturally-specific depiction of manhood in order to conform men into a deeper culturally-specific sense of manhood in order to make our churches look more culturally-specifically-masculine, all the while never getting to the heart of what real biblical manhood is?
Why do men struggle so much relating church life to daily life?
In large part, I believe it is because we have dropped the teaching of Biblical manhood in the church and replaced it with a morally sound version of men we see on TV. But God’s intention of manhood is much more broad, yet determined, and specific.
Here is a working definition we utilize with a group of guys that gather on Friday mornings. Based on Gen. 2, Eph. 5, and other passages, we conclude biblical manhood is: The glad acceptance of sacrificial responsibility to provide and protect for the glory of God and the good of others. This is just one definition.
How do we learn to do this? The church. Titus 2 tells us that older men and women are to teach, guide and invest in younger men and women. This is echoed by 1 Tim. 5 and modeled by Jesus, Paul, Peter, Moses, Abraham, David, etc., in the Scripture. Older, more seasoned men should invest in younger men. Paul, Peter, Moses and our other biblical forefathers were not perfect men, but they were investors in those who would lead behind them.
For older men, your missteps and experiences are not simply should haves, would haves and could haves for you. For a generation of men behind you, they are maps. What pitfalls should I avoid? What trajectory will get me from point A to point B? Where are the sharp rocks you hit that I could avoid? How do I get my kid to sit down in the bathtub?
Ultimately, the scope, trajectory, and definition of a godly man is given from the inerrant, inspired, sufficient, relevant across-time-and-culture Scripture. How that plays itself out has been and continues to be in narrative and relationship, story and direction, letters and challenges.
Men, perhaps the godliest thing you could do today is teach a younger man how to change his oil. Not because, “Men know how to change oil!” but as a way you can equip him to provide for and protect his family for the glory of God. The most meaningful investment you could make today may not be in a 401k, but in asking a young dad what his fears are in raising his son. The most life-deepening adventure you may have could be sitting down with a young man over Ephesians 5 and confessing, “This is where I’ve messed up at this.”
The church is not for you. The church is not for me. The church is not for women or men. The church is for Jesus Christ. Ephesians (and so many of Paul’s letters) reminds us, we are individual stones in a greater structure joined, held together, and united in Christ, for Christ and His purposes.
Can men enjoy camo and dead deer? Sure. But it doesn’t make them men. Following Christ’s design makes them men. Wouldn’t it be something if the church became known as the place for training true men? Perhaps we could take strides in that direction if we each took a little more time to show and guide men to become more like Him. After all, this is what Paul has done with the church through his letters. This is what Jesus did to his young disciples. This is what some men by God’s grace are doing for me. This is what I pray to do for younger men.
by Ryan Smith | Sep 17, 2013
When does a man become a man?
Depending on who you ask, the answer may be after a certain ceremony, after attaining to a certain career status or degree of autonomy. If you watch a lot of TV, you would say it’s when you have sex, grow facial hair, or can assert yourself in some degree of juvenile dominance.
If you’ve been paying attention to the sports landscape recently, you’ve been fed a new version of when manhood begins – or rather, when it hasn’t begun. The context is somewhat subtle, but the message is the same. Boys will be boys. Teenagers will be teenagers. College students will be college students. This delayed expectation of manhood is slipping past a dangerous precipice.
With the prominent display of college football’s most controversial and talented player, a new assumption has presented itself. Johnny “Football” Manziel is 20 years old. He has already won a Heisman trophy and dazzles on the football field. His future is full of possibility. He will likely go to the NFL, make millions of dollars, and be the lead story on Sportscenter.
That’s Johnny the football player. What about Johnny the man? Well, as our sports pundits will tell us, we can’t expect Johnny to be a man. After all, he’s just 20, and he’s doing the same things we all did when we were 20. Sure he’s immature. Sure he drinks illegally. Sure he may have received money for signing autographs. Sure he is stubborn, self-centered and disrespectful. Yes, he’s a knucklehead, but what do you expect? He’s 20!
Sports Illustrated recently released a 5-part “expose” on Oklahoma State University’s football program and alluded to the idea that they were exposing the state of college athletics in general. There were allegations of academic misconduct, fraud, sex, drugs, and looking the other way while college boys did what college boys do. Regardless of the reporting or what you think of what was printed, the general response was underwhelming. The replies came rolling in:
“This goes on at every university.”
“They’re from a rough background.”
“What else would you expect?”
“They’re just college kids.”
For anyone writing off university students because Johnny Manziel and others act like boys who can shave, allow me to offer a different perspective. As someone who lives in a university town, I’d like to adjust the bar and tell you what I see and expect from university males.
Here’s my expose. I’ve seen something going on at Oklahoma State University that few people know about. It has shattered my preconceived notions regarding college men and what level we should hold them to. Get Sports Illustrated on the phone. I’ve got part 6 and this one’s steamy.
Something has been going on for the past several years on Friday mornings under the cover of dark. While most are still asleep and the sun has yet to rise on Boone Pickens Stadium, I’ve seen a handful of college men converge in an upstairs room at the Baptist Collegiate Ministry building. These students are from various backgrounds and locations. Some are frat boys. Some are country boys. They go there for something called Alpha Lambda Mu (ALM – “Act Like Men” – 1 Cor. 6:13). There they meet at 6:30 in the morning with other men of various ages and stages of life. Some of these men are newlyweds. Some have young kids. Some men have teenagers, are empty nesters, or have college students of their own.
We gather to share. We gather to sharpen. We gather to learn from one another and ultimately chew on what the Bible says about manhood in general and our responsibility specifically as men. I have seen these college men frantically taking notes as an older man relates some of the mistakes he made when his kids were young. I’ve seen college students pray with family men who are trying to step up their biblical role in the home. I’ve seen college men breaking down with older men discussing fears over careers and life’s directions.
These young men are investing in their careers, coworkers, wives, families, churches and children before they ever come into being. At a time when most men in our church are still asleep, these young men have decided to gladly accept sacrificial responsibility.
Last Homecoming weekend, I sat across from a young man who is Pistol Pete. There he sat, 6:30 in the morning, in full garb (minus the head), prepared for an exhausting gauntlet that would keep him running for days straight late into the evening. He had every reason and excuse not to get up and invest. He rejected them all.
These young men may never play Division I athletics. They may never win a national award or have a segment on Sportscenter. But I’ll tell you one thing as a father with a young son. When it comes to who my son looks up to and what I pray for him to be, I’d trade 10 Johnny Manziels for one of these young men. They are my new definition of young manhood.
“Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong.”
– 1 Cor. 16:13
Photo: Grant Bivens
by Ryan Smith | Aug 22, 2013
I admit it. I struggle with God. It is not a struggle with the sovereignty or goodness of God. My greatest struggle in prayer is rooted in a deep corner of my heart I often don’t want to acknowledge exists. Let me be clear; I believe God is good. I believe whatever happens, He can and will use it for His glory and the good of those who are called according to His purposes (Rom. 8:28, Gen. 50:20). But still, if I were to be completely honest…
I’m afraid God will hurt me or someone I love.
I know this seems strange. Why would a good God, one identified inseparably with love, want to hurt me or someone I love?
In that deep corner of my heart, there is a fear associated with my faith. While I believe God is good and loving, I know sometimes the most refining element is fire. The strongest way to shape something is to strike it. The loudest voice comes through the most violent megaphone.
C.S. Lewis wrote, “God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains; it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world.” If I were to step back and examine my prayer life, honestly most of my prayers are pointed towards the avoidance of pain, the comfort of pleasures, and the soundness of a conscience of moral peace. However, according to Lewis, this leaves me only content to hear whispers and the even-keeled voice of a very thunderous Creator God.
This leads me to my point. I believe God is good. I have grown most spiritually in the dry times, the excruciating circumstances, and the painful moments of a broken world colliding with a sinful heart. Pain has been a means of growth by God’s grace.
Still, when I find myself praying for spiritual growth, for God to save my son, for my wife and I to radiantly display the gospel in our marriage, for gospel growth in our church, I fear God’s means will be cancer, a car wreck, or an intense season of trial. I believe God when He says the ends will be good, glory, and gospel advancement. I’m on board with the ends. I just fear God in the means.
As I consider this truth, and acknowledge I am likely not alone with this dark corner of my heart, I offer three things by God’s grace I am trying to remember.
1) “The light shines in the darkness” (John 1:5). This dark corner is not dark to God. I need to be honest with God and myself. God knows this fear. If anyone knows what it would be like to go through intense difficulty for the glory of God, it is Jesus Christ. He is a man who lost a father, was betrayed by His friends, was hated and challenged at every step, and ultimately was brutally murdered. No part of my heart is hidden from God. It’s okay to admit that it’s there.
2) “Do not be afraid.” This phrase appears roughly 33 times in the Scripture. God does not want us to fear. At the same time, He knows He can be scary. He knows life can be strained. He knows faith can be heavy. In reality, God has been much more honest with us about pain than we have been with Him. Death may have a sting, but it has no victory. Everything in between is simply the flailing about of a dragon that has already had its head cut off. Christ is risen.
3) “Though He slay me, I will hope in him; yet I will argue my ways to His face” (Job 13:15). While these words were said by Job, a man who experienced the most extreme aspect of my fear, they echo and epitomize the heart of the Psalms, the resilience of the prophets, and the steadfastness of the apostles. If Christ Jesus is the cornerstone of a great structure built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets (Eph. 2:19-22), and I am a brick in this structure, then this confession must be mine as it was of so many who went before. Either way, life will be difficult. Do I want to pretend I can avoid it or do I want to embrace it, the God who allows it, and be thankful God has been honest in His word that pain is a part of life? Though it is a part of life, it is not a part of eternity for those in Christ. As a result, I can walk in pain in light of the victory won and the goodness of a God who never leaves nor forsakes.
If we read the Scriptures, we know cancer, car wrecks, and catastrophe are just a part of life. We don’t have to explain it or try to reconcile it with an idea of a loving God. Love is not always comfortable. I love my wife not only in health, but in sickness. We need a larger perspective and definition of love.
While we may pray for a cure, Christ ultimately provides healing. That may mean healing the heart while the body decays. It may mean rest in the Spirit for one who cannot sleep in the body. It means Healing is greater than Curing and we are healed in Christ.
This dark corner of my heart in reality is not dark. It’s not even a corner. It’s the center of a heart struggling between wanting to be Lord of my life and admitting that Jesus Christ is Lord of all. One is fantasy. One is reality. What a wonderful reality that Christ has overcome and has not given us a Spirit of fear (2 Tim. 1:7, Rom. 8:15). He is honest. We can be honest with Him. In this, we can know the healing already from whatever injury may be to come.
“I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” – John 16:33
by Ryan Smith | Jul 8, 2013
Confession. I voted for Barack Obama in 2008. While I am not a political junky, I do get caught up in the grandiose chess match that is American politics. I gained interest in Obama in 2006; not because he was a strong orator, but because his oratory brought a resonating message of change to a gridlocked system. I read his book, watched his speeches, and learned about his worldview. I did not agree with all of his policies, but I believed in the man making the decisions.
Fast-forward a few years. The man who spoke of conviction and unity has since trended toward “evolving” political views. His divisive shifts in thinking, and “progressive” moves away from the convictions he outlined as a younger candidate have not held true to the man I thought I was supporting.
This introduces my dilemma. My aim in this post is not political, though certainly the topic is of a political nature. My aim is theological. As a Christian, what should my attitude and actions be towards a president with whom I disagree?
Romans 13 gives us direction regarding government and its citizens. Paul tells us, “Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God. Therefore whoever resists the authorities resists what God has appointed, and those who resist will incur judgment.”
What do we learn from this passage?
- We are to be subject to the governing authorities.
- Our government’s authority is given by God and exists because God wills it.
- When we resist our authorities, we resist God.
- Resistance to our temporal government results in eternal consequence.
I would not expect this to be the Bible’s stance on government. I believe these four things apply except in cases where the government directs citizens to explicitly go against God’s will expressed in Scripture. After all, governments sanction the killing of infants, redefine institutions given by God (for His glory) to accommodate sin, and label running away from God’s principles as, “progress.” How are we to respond? Are we simply to roll over and let these things happen? How does a Christian obey the Word of God in one hand while obeying leaders who do not affirm its statutes in the other?
As I have wrestled with this idea and prayed about how to be obedient to God’s Word, I have come to a few conclusions.
1) I am to honor God in honoring his institutions. When I submit myself to authority, I exercise humility. Whether it is the authority of a boss in the workplace (Eph. 6:5-9), a godly man in his home (Eph. 5:22-32), or parents in the family (Eph. 6:1-4), God has placed us all under authority and in authority. Scripture reminds us we continually fail in authority and are to forgive those in authority over us as we desire forgiveness from those under our authority. God’s institutions point us to a greater home with a greater King. Until then, I should treat those in authority over me with respect and prayer. The further from God they seem, the more I need to pray and intercede on their behalf. In honoring them, I honor God.
2) The way I treat my president says more about me than it does my president. George Bush, Barack Obama, and I will all stand before the same throne, judged by the same Master, with the same sin-soaked heart, with no other plea but Christ. We are equally sinful. Jesus had one-on-one encounters with many leaders. Even as they mocked and abused Him, what was His response? Father, forgive them. Let us be as prayerful, intercessory, and forgiving as our Christ.
3) Sin does not justify sin. Perhaps the worst thing I can do is lie, gossip, or slander another who is presumably outside of God’s will. Not only does it condemn me for the same rebellion against God that I am opposing, but it misrepresents Christ to the world around me. If I may be blunt, many of us are showing a horrible shade of ugly in the way we talk about our officials. One can barely scan their Facebook feed without encountering a pithy quip backhanding the president. He is called a socialist, a Muslim, an anti-Christ, a non-American, a fool, and this from people professing to be Christians. Quit. Repent. Pray. We can disagree with our leaders, but we don’t have to sin in order to do so. There is a godly way to disagree.
4) Make a difference, not just a noise. Should Christians be politically active? Of course. Having godly leaders praying and making decisions on behalf of those who have smaller voices is commendable. But remember, Christ continually had to turn from the crowds who wanted to make Him king. Why? Because His authority was above that of a king. We walk in a kingdom that is not of this world. Men may come in and out of the oval office, but Christ and Christ alone occupies His eternal throne.
I am not endorsing or un-endorsing any candidate, party, or ideology. I am simply wrestling with what it means to follow Christ in the area of politics. Ultimately, let us thank God for His sovereignty, and follow His model as we pray and engage our political system. Let us strive to see God’s kingdom on earth as it is in heaven, but realize it is not ushered in through government, but the church. Governments rise and fall, but the gates of hell cannot overcome the bride of Christ. Let’s be the church, even towards those with whom we disagree.
“First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people, for kings and all who are in high positions, that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way. This is good, and it is pleasing in the sight of God our Savior…” 1 Tim. 2:1-3
by Ryan Smith | Jun 4, 2013
The Law. We know it exists. Every year we slam into it in our “Read Through the Bible In A Year” (or as I call it, “Read Genesis and Exodus Every January”) plans. It’s messy, foreign, irrelevant, archaic, and bloody. Honestly, we have a problem with it. We don’t know what to do with it functionally other than simply throw it out and say we are, “Under grace!” But as we throw out the shellfish, mixed linens, and strange haircuts, do we also throw out, “Don’t murder,” and “Honor your parents”?
How do we handle the Law as 21st century Bible-believing Christians?
My aim is to give New Testament era believers a crash course in the Law. I find it is the part of Scripture we are most ignorant about, yet is usually the first weapon in the arsenal of atheists or those who would belittle the Bible’s authority.
While you won’t find them broken up this way in the Scripture, it is helpful to understand the Law in four types: Ceremonial, Civil, Identification, and Moral. Ceremonial laws refer to the priesthood, sacrifices, temple, cleanliness, etc. These laws were fulfilled in Christ. In Christ, we have no Holy of Holies or temple because the Spirit lives in us (Eph. 2:19-22). We have no need of a sacrifice because Jesus paid it all. He is our sacrifice. When Jesus died, the temple curtain was torn in two. The entire book of Hebrews is about Christ fulfilling the ceremonial laws. They are no longer binding because Jesus has fulfilled them as our priest, sacrifice, temple, etc.
The Civil Laws pertain to governing Israel as a theocracy – a nation ruled by God. Today, we are no longer under a theocracy, but a democracy. Israel at one point even rejected the theocracy and demanded a king. Romans 13:1-6 says we are to obey secular government and submit to it because God will work through it. God is still sovereign no matter what man-made governmental system we reside under. We are not bound by these Old Testament laws because they were specific punishments for specific trespasses against a specific people group.
The Laws of Identification applied to Israel as a holy nation, one set apart. Israel was surrounded by idolatrous nations. These nations had certain markers – the way they cut their hair, things they did or wore – that identified them with their culture and gods. God also gave Israel identifiers of purity as a people set apart. These identifiers signified they were to be unmixed and uninfluenced by other nations who did not follow God and would pervert and persuade them with false gods (which they did). Many of these seem weird to us.
Let me offer a hypothetical example. Let’s pretend the Buddhists decide they are all going to tattoo a circle on their hand. They are now the Buddhist people of the circle-hand. As a Christian, you have every right under grace to tattoo a circle on your hand. But why would you want to? Everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial.
This brings us to the Moral Law. These are laws that forbid such things as rape, theft, murder, etc. These laws were not new or surprising to the hearers. The Moral Law is intrinsically apparent. It has always been binding and always will be. It is an objective morality. Sodom and Gomorrah, Cain, and Abraham were all judged by a moral law. Jesus did not fulfill the moral law, but upheld it by living sinlessly. He paid our penalty for breaking it as our atoning sacrifice. Christ didn’t die so we would be moral. Our morality can’t save us. But obedience to the moral law is one way we align ourselves with God’s kingdom.
So the Ceremonial, Civil, and particular Identification Laws are no longer binding, but the Moral Laws are. In essence, the whole law is valid until its purpose is accomplished in Christ. Romans 3:20 says, “For by works of the law no human being will be justified in his sight, since through the law comes knowledge of sin.” The Law was given to show us our sinful nature – not that we didn’t know we were sinful before, but we had no idea how much. The Law is diagnostic. It transcends time and culture, but was given in a time and culture that not only understood it, but embraced it (Ps. 1:1-2, 119:1, 19:7-11).
Ultimately, the Law has authority to diagnose sin, but not to cure it. The point of the Law is to point us to our depravity, God’s holiness, and our need for a Savior outside of ourselves. The giving of the Law was an act of grace. The point of the Law ultimately is Jesus Christ.