by Ryan Smith | Jul 20, 2015
Children are like IRAs. A lot of people have them; few people really know how to handle or invest in them; and a lot of people feel helpless and overwhelmed by them – simply letting someone else handle it and hoping everything will turn out alright in the end.
Parents, fret not. You are not alone. Just as Hillary Clinton once said, it takes a village to raise a child. It’s just at times we feel like the village idiot. But God, in His grace, has not left us to fend on our own.
Let’s focus on what the Scripture shows us are four unique roles in raising godly children.
1) THE PARENTS
Yes, there are other roles than yours in developing your children into Christlikeness, but no one can ever shoulder the load God has given you. Deuteronomy 6 instructs parents to teach God’s words diligently to their children, talking about them in all places, at all times, and giving them a place of prominence in your household.
The reason Deuteronomy 6 puts so much on the parents is that mothers and fathers are uniquely equipped in three ways: proximity, power, and prominence. This is especially true and vital in the early years. No one spends more time with, or is closer to, your children in their early stages of life than you. No one else has the authority a parent carries or the trust a child gives to Mom and Dad. Use it. There is not now and will never be anyone with the gospel opportunity you have with your child.
I’ve heard it said that food left to itself always spoils. It’s the same with children. There is a time to apply heat and a time to cool down. There is a time to protect and store, but there is also a time to expose and marinate. Either way, just like food, children are not to be left to themselves or they will spoil.
2) THE CHILD
You can fast, pray, and tear your hair out for your children, but ultimately a child is accountable to God. Biblically, children have a unique role as well. Eph. 6:1-2 says, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ‘Honor your father and mother’…”
God has given your child a biblically pro-active role in proximity, power and prominence as well. There is a time for children to cleave close to their parents and there is a time for them to leave and build their own home. In regard to power, children are to be submissive to their parents. They are to hold them in a place of prominence – giving reverence and understanding – as parents seek to point them towards Christ and navigate life’s journey.
Trust is given, and trust is earned. It is your role as the parent to earn your child’s trust, and it is their role to give it. But ultimately, remember your child has a responsibility before God and a response to Christ.
3) THE CHURCH
Biblically, a church is to equip the parents and children for the work of ministry. A church is not a parent – it is a partner. Eph. 4:11-12 says, “And he gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the shepherds and teachers to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ.”
The church’s role is to equip you for the work of ministry. They are to be a godly resource, community, and multi-generational family in Christ. You and your children need older generations. Go to them and model Titus 2, as we each glean from the wisdom God has given in both successes and mistakes.
The church bears responsibility as a faith family, but it does not bear the responsibility of your family. Your pastor is not your child’s dad. That children’s worker is not your child’s mom. There are roles only you can fill, but know this: you are not alone in seeking to fulfill that role.
4) GOD
Lastly, and most importantly, parents need to be reminded of the role God plays in raising your children. While parents are to model Christ to their children, a parent can never be Christ for their children. You can’t die for your kids – only Jesus can.
Psalm 68:5 says God is, “Father of the fatherless and protector of widows.” Acts 4:12 reminds us, “There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved.” You can wrap your child in spiritual kindling, but only God can strike the match.
The good news is God gladly carries the weight and responsibility of being God and doing what God does. Do we always understand what God is doing or has done? Absolutely not. But by faith, we believe He is God and what He does is best – even if it hurts.
God is Father. He is in control. He knows. He is there.
God is Christ the Son. He alone can save. Jesus showed us that children have a special place in God’s heart. He knows and loves your child even more than you do.
God is the Spirit. He leads into truth, partners in prayer, and seals for salvation.
Parenting can be a scary thing. It is also an immense opportunity to lean into God and grow in faith. Remember, just because you become a parent doesn’t mean you stop being parented by God the Father. Trust Him and lean not on your own understanding. Let us glorify God together as we point the next generation towards Christ.
by Ryan Smith | Jun 30, 2015
The law of the land in the United States regarding marriage has changed. There is great fear among many who hold to a biblical definition of marriage about the rippling effects of this watershed decision. But amidst the rubble, I want us to see the sparkling gem of opportunity for those committed to a biblical understanding of marriage.
For those familiar with the Bible’s clear teachings on the gift of marriage, a few things are certain. We know God designed and gave marriage. We know He gave it as a covenant relationship for life between one man and one woman. We know it is to be centered on God and the Gospel to function in its intended way. Marriage is ultimately a picture of Christ and the church. The husband is to assume the role of sacrificial headship (even to the point of death), and the wife is a stalwart force of respect, diligence, and discipleship. None of that has changed. The Bible’s words are the same today as they were the day before the Supreme Court’s decision.
But have we lost the biblical identity and sacredness of Christian marriage by legally redefining who can get married? No.
It is not the Supreme Court who dropped the ball on marriage. The shift has taken place as a result of professing Christians who have so ignored the other key elements of what defines a biblical marriage that we have lowered the bar and dividing line to simply an issue of gender.
Consider this: can a heterosexual married couple who has made a public oath legally divorce even though the Bible says marriage is explicitly for life and that God hates divorce? Yes.
Can a husband legally neglect the sacrificial responsibility commanded in the Scripture and embrace a passive-aggressive perversion of manhood? Yes.
I could go on, but I hope you get the picture. We have stood idly by as key aspects of biblical marriage have been ignored, yet have become inflamed about this most recent blow in the courts.
Do I wish the Supreme Court had ruled differently? Yes. But they didn’t. What they have done, however, is given Christians the responsibility and ability to be set apart not by the government, but by the Holy Spirit’s transformation of two broken people into one life-long covenant honoring Christ in their biblical roles.
The Bible has much more to say about marriage than the who. While that is an overwhelmingly key and explicit entry point, there is much more given to us about the when, how and why of what makes a true marriage.
Up until now, the only legal dividing line was between who is married. We can’t litigate the why, and can’t change the heart of how. The law is impotent to give and use marriage in a way that honors God. Only the Spirit can create a marriage that exemplifies Christ and the church – not the government.
The dividing line of “married” and “not married” has not served to adequately mirror the line of “Christ Centered” and “not Christ Centered.” We now have opportunity to re-highlight those lines.
For the Christian seeking to follow and display Christ in their marriage, no bar has been lowered, no standard has been removed, and no opportunity has been diminished.
Because of the Supreme Court’s ruling, we now have the unparalleled opportunity to display not only the difference between marriage and not-marriage, but what a biblical marriage looks like versus a man-centered marriage. As the government reshapes and defines what it offers as marriage, we who stand under the Word of God can show what God gives as marriage. The world can now hold up two types of marriage and say there is something different about marriage based on the Bible and centered on the glory of God. Out of the lump of relationships called marriages, we now have the opportunity to show the comparative difference was not so much in the who of marriage, but in the why.
Your marriage responsibility just got a lot more important. We need to stand against divorce and fight for marriage. We need to visually and verbally celebrate long-standing commitment based on the Gospel. We must show the value of not just a Gospel-centered church, but a Gospel-centered home. We can show how the Bible and the Gospel cause everything else to work properly even in adversity as we seek to understand, apply, and fight for biblical manhood and womanhood in marriage.
Glory to God for the opportunity He has given us to radiantly display the Gospel in our marriages! May the new dividing line of Christian Marriage and Governmental Marriage show the powerful work of God in the lives of those submitted to the Spirit and His Word.
by Ryan Smith | Jun 22, 2015
In his letter to the Corinthian church, Paul exhorts, “So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.”
Eating and drinking can be an act of worship and honor. So with a bevy of beverages and mountainous menus, what should we eat or drink?
May I advocate to you on behalf of my good friend, Mr. Coffee Bean.
I know, I know, this is obviously not a biblical mandate or a pharisaical litmus test for holiness based on whether your cup that overfloweth be tall or venti, but consider a few things about the glorious hot bean water:
Mind the Body
Did you know your first cup of freshly brewed coffee is your greatest source of daily antioxidants? Also, a review of 18 studies totaling over half a million people suggested each daily cup reduced the risk of type 2 diabetes by 7%. Coffee drinkers have up to a 65% lower risk of Alzheimer’s disease and their risk of Parkinson’s disease may be 32-60% according to recent research. Coffee also affords a lower risk of stroke, colorectal cancer, depression and liver disease. All of this with only two calories per cup!
Awake O Sleeper!
One of the most difficult things for Christians seeking discipline in devotion is carving out time and space to focus on God’s Word. For many, this is hopelessly attempted first thing in the morning. What could help bolster this morning endeavor? The nutrients in coffee help block adenosine, a brain inhibitory neurotransmitter which greatly aids in the waking process (similar to sunlight or exercise). Also, moderate levels of coffee have been shown to improve mood, memory, vigilance, and energy. So if you have trouble waking up in the morning with a good mood, vigilant to effectively memorize and take in the Word of God, adding a cup of Joe could help get you there.
Coffee Shop Gospel
Dr. Alvin Reid, Professor of Evangelism & Student Ministry/Bailey Smith Chair of Evangelism at Southeastern Seminary, recently wrote an excellent article about the growing use of Third Places (like coffee shops) for Gospel-centered community and conversation. He states, “I decided some time back that since young adults love third places like coffee shops, since I love them too, and since it’s easy to access them…I would try to meet there.” He has found the coffee shop to be an open door for Gospel-community. He raves about the affirmative feedback he gets from people with a variety of backgrounds who may be timid in a church building or reluctant to open their front door to a relative stranger, but will gladly sit over a steaming cup of Columbian Dark.
Reid also notes the opportunities for Christians to get to know the baristas, regulars, and new faces at coffee shops where relaxed conversation is the norm.
Personally, I can attest to seeing many people from our church using local coffee shops as a place for discipleship, personal reading, and Gospel sharing. Our communities continually walk in and out of our local coffee shops. What difference could it make if they regularly saw us there?
So as you’re thinking about the many ways God has given us to worship, remember there is a reminder of God’s general revelation and grace just waiting to be poured into your mug (and heart).
Help your body. Help your mind. Help your community.
Drink a cup, thank Jesus, and make it a venti.
by Ryan Smith | Jun 3, 2015
My heart hurts for Caitlyn Jenner.
While his/her struggle and gender transition has been well chronicled in recent weeks, the place I see his/her struggle most accurately displayed is in the pages of Scripture. I will explain this later, but for now, consider Bruce Jenner the human being.
Here is a man who tasted the greatest heights of today’s so-called gods.
As a decathlete, he stood atop the gold-medal Olympic podium while the Stars and Stripes rang out. His winning feats of strength and stamina were immortalized on posters, cereal boxes, and in the memories of a grateful nation. To many parents, this is the highest of aspirations for their children – athletic achievement and recognition.
Bruce Jenner conquered the athletic world.
It wasn’t enough.
The god of athletic achievement did not save.
Jenner’s fame on the athletic field led him to a host of opportunities. He visited the White House, appeared in multiple television series , amassed millions of dollars in business, even gave his family a platform on their own wildly-successful TV show which not only fed off of his fame, but gave it to his wife (of multiple decades) and children. In so doing, they are monetarily set for life.
Bruce Jenner conquered the financial world.
Bruce Jenner conquered the media world.
Bruce Jenner conquered the family world (by pop-culture’s standards).
It wasn’t enough.
The gods of money, fame, and family did not save.
The trophies could not satisfy. The fame could not satisfy. The family could not satisfy. Something else was missing.
In an interview with Diane Sawyer, Bruce revealed to the world what he believed to be a major source of his longing and emptiness. He believed he was a woman in a man’s body. He began charting a course including hormone-replacement therapy, gender reassignment surgery, and other physical, social, and emotional transitions.
Bruce Jenner is now Caitlyn Jenner.
Surely this will fix it. The god of sex will save.
While many, including ESPN and the president of the United States, are lauding Jenner’s “courage” and, “heroism,” in a “pioneering” effort, his story rings as old as the pages of Scripture.
The chasing after other gods is not new. We all do it. We have done it in every generation, just in different ways.
King Solomon chased achievement, prosperity, sex, and after chasing each of these winds, the wisest man in the world concluded the following:
“So I became great and surpassed all who were before me in Jerusalem… whatever my eyes desired I did not keep from them. I kept my heart from no pleasure, for my heart found pleasure in all my toil, and this was my reward for all my toil. Then I considered all that my hands had done and the toil I had expended in doing it, and behold, all was vanity and a striving after wind, and there was nothing to be gained under the sun” (Eccl. 2:9-11 ESV).
My heart hurts for Caitlyn Jenner because I know what lies on the other side of her current journey. It is the same void Solomon felt. The lights will fade. The emotions will level. The emptiness will return. The longing will ache – unfulfilled. This god will not save.
The longing in Caitlyn Jenner is a longing we all share. As Augustine rightly recorded in his Confessions, though we seek salvation in all the things of this world, our hearts will be restless until they find their rest in God. We were made for Him. We all will chase other gods and other fountains until we come to the source of true living water. Without Christ, we are striving after wind.
The Bible portrays this over and over. We all have taken on different identities to cover the void in our souls – The Professional, The Athlete, The Perfect Parent, The Model Christian, The Sex-Symbol.
They all have calmed the ache for a while, but in the end they are not God. He has given us a hunger only He can fill.
Caitlyn shares our longing. May we pray that by God’s grace, He will save her, others, and us as He saved Solomon, David, Abraham and Paul as they chased wind apart from God. All have sinned. All need Christ to save and heal.
In the end, I pray Caitlyn Jenner will find true love and identity in Christ.
Only God can save Caitlyn. Only God can save me. Only God can save you.
Lord come soon.
Photo credit: Vicki L. Miller/Shutterstock.com
by Ryan Smith | May 19, 2015
There was a pitiful man in the coffee shop this morning.
I had turned around with my Americano as he slid off his bike and mounted it on the bike rack. I didn’t think much of it. He walked in the coffee shop door as I was setting my bag down on a table in the corner.
He did not begin perusing the chalkboard menu or ogling the pastry counter. Rather he took the middle seat at an empty row of chairs facing out large glass windows that overlooked the parking lot.
From my vantage point in the corner, I had a good (though peripheral) view of the man. When I noticed his intention was not to get food or coffee, I began to watch him all the more. He looked relatively normal, but the overstuffed pockets, the layered shorts and jackets, and the thin look of his face told me the man was likely in some kind of need.
I wondered about his back-story. Was he a druggy? Was he homeless? Merely eccentric? Either way, as I got up to get some napkins, my pace was quickened by the thought of both my computer and phone sitting out unprotected and well within his reach.
As I walked past him, I noticed the Wal-Mart sacks tied around his feet. What was inside? I don’t know. Maybe he was protecting new shoes from the recent rain. Maybe he had no shoes. Maybe he sold them for drugs. Maybe he was just eccentric.
As I sat back down, he was hunched over something he had pulled out of his pocket. Actually, it was a stack of somethings – small papers held tightly, yet chaotically in his determined grasp.
Lottery tickets.
The man was hunched over a stack of lottery tickets I assumed he had recently purchased at the gas station near by. He was scratching the tickets feverishly with his keys, and then reading the back. He would scratch one, read it, and then set it aside…
Scratch…read…set aside…
Scratch…read…set aside…
You could smell the addiction from a mile away.
I thought I should buy him some coffee. I pitied him because I knew those tickets cost money – something he likely couldn’t spare and shouldn’t be spending on such frivolity. I wanted him to win because it looked like he hadn’t seen good news in awhile. I wanted him to lose because I didn’t want his addiction to keep being fed. I wanted him to see the fruitlessness of his hope.
Scratch…read…set aside.
He was looking for a savior.
At least 10 times in my mind, I bought him coffee, walked over and sat next to him and said something coy, yet significant like, “You’re not going to find your salvation there” as I placed the coffee next to him. In my mind, I then shared the Gospel with him. Half the time he got saved and set his life on a new course of life with a flourishing testimony to the changing nature of the gospel. The other half of the time it got messy and he returned to his futile habits.
Scratch…read…set aside.
I weighed my options.
My coffee was getting lukewarm as I noticed him get up, walk to the door, and throw the tickets in a crumpled pile to be soaked with old coffee and muffin crumbs. Wasted.
He got back on his bike and feverishly rode back in the direction of the gas station.
I didn’t see him again.
I don’t know how many times this same scenario has played out. The people and places are different, but the action (or inaction) is the same.
I see someone searching for a savior – reaching for water in a well I know is both dry and likely dangerous. I pity them.
I know the Gospel. I know exactly what they need, what they are looking for, and how they can find it.
Yet I remain silent.
I can’t help but think somewhere in that coffee shop, there may have been someone watching me in their peripheral vision. They may have seen my Bible, my mac, my espresso, and made assumptions about me that were likely true. They may have seen me stuck in my sin of inaction and greed as I watched a man struggle.
They may have seen me run scenarios in my mind, wondering if I would actually offer hope or whether my faith would just be crumpled up and thrown in the trash with old coffee, crumbs and lottery tickets. Wasted.
“Whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.” – James 4:17
There was a pitiful man in the coffee shop this morning, and it was me.