Quino-what?

by Karen Kinnaird | Jul 9, 2015

Let’s lighten up a little today. Deep concerns over recent current events have me feeling heavy and weighed down. Perhaps today would be appropriate for a lighter topic. Actually, it’s a lot lighter – a summer recipe with quinoa. Have you tried it?

Quinoa has become one of my favorite foods. I stumbled on this salad recipe last year and it is one of my favorites, especially on a hot summer day. Quinoa, pronounced “keen-wah” is a grain that is becoming increasingly popular. Even the Pope will receive a quinoa communion wafer during his visit to Bolivia this week! The National Restaurant Association has named quinoa as a hot trend in side dishes among chefs. Quinoa is gluten free, full of fiber, rich in iron and vitamin B, and has a nutty flavor.

Quinoa Salad (Serves 6)
(Photo: Karen Kinnaird )

The Whole Grains Council states, “It’s not surprising that quinoa supports good health, as it’s one of the only plant foods that’s a complete protein, offering all the essential amino acids in a healthy balance.” Referred to as the “mother grain” and as a “super food” quinoa is available in white, red and black. Quinoa flakes and flour are available, usually at health food stores.

1. Bring to a boil over low heat:

• 1 cup quinoa
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 1 1/2 cups water

2. Cover and simmer slowly for 15 to 20 minutes until the grains are cooked but still firm. Remove from heat and add:

• 2 diced tomatoes
• 1 cup diced bell peppers
• 1 cup diced cucumber
• 1 cup chopped kalamata olives
• 1/4 cup chopped green onion

Toss everything together and add Lemon Oregano Dressing.

Lemon Oregano Dressing

Whisk together well:

• 1/4 cup EVOO
• 2 tbsp honey
• juice and finely minced zest of one lemon
• 1 tbsp dried oregano
• 1/2 tsp kosher salt
• 1/2 tsp black pepper

 This dish is fresh, healthy and filling. The combinations are endless. Give it a try!

Book Review: When Your Teen is Struggling: Real Hope and Practical Help for Parents Today

by Karen Kinnaird | Jun 29, 2015

Is your teen struggling? Do you feel like they are pushing you away? Do you have a tween who is about to embark on the teen years? Do you work with teens? If so, this is a must read! Teenagers are living in a very different world than the one their parents grew up in.

Today’s parenting requires a different style.  Even the best intentioned Christian families are not immune to the effects of todays out of control culture. Published by Harvest House in 2007, When Your Teen is Struggling by Mark Gregston is not a new book but an excellent resource that offers hope and advice.

Mark Gregston, founder and executive director of Heartlight Ministries, is a popular author, radio host and speaker. He has served families and counseled youth for more than 40 years. He has helped turn around more than 2,500 teens through his residential counseling center. He offers experience and insight along with compassion and understanding. He has a gift for being able to get to the root of a teen’s issue and design a plan to bring healing.

A few teachings from the book rose to the surface for me:

1. Just as kids change as they age, parents need to change the way they parent. Gregston warns that lectures must move to discussion, and a parent’s role must change from protector to preparer. Parents must be prepared for the teen years in advance and have a plan in place. This may prevent future issues.

2. Parents must look at their child’s struggle with the eyes of their heart. Look beyond the surface to discover what is hidden. The behavior is not the issue; it’s a symptom of something greater. Parents must get to the root of the issue.

3. Pain is valuable. No matter how badly we want to bail our kids out of the consequences to their poor choices to avoid pain for them, we must not. Gregston notes that to avoid pain allows childish thinking and foolish behavior to continue and results in greater pain later in life. For some parents this, itself, is very painful, but it must be done. Teens today are immature because they have been rescued too many times. Let them learn from their mistakes and grow up.

4. Don’t lose the relationship.  Struggling teens need to know their parents love them.  Tough love loves regardless of how parents are treated and even when the teen goes against everything the family stands for. In What’s Happening to My Teen, Gregston states, “I can assure you that your posture during this dark time will affect the amount of time your child spends wandering aimlessly and the quality of relationship you will have with him when he gets to the other side of his rebellious adventures.”

 “This struggle has come to your family for a reason. You’re the parent of this child for a reason. The timing is not accidental. You probably don’t understand all the reasons for these struggles, but that doesn’t diminish their purpose or the plan behind them. They are part of the journey God has for you and your child. And He’ll use it all.”   Mark Gregston

Gregston offers two very practical chapters on developing family belief systems and developing a rule and consequence for each belief. Issues concentrate on respect, obedience and honesty. The book is also filled with many real life case studies of teens and their families. Each scenario describes the behavior, the root problems and the action that was applied to help the teen. I was pleasantly surprised to read the outcome of these teens’ lives in the “Where Are They Now” chapter at the end of the book.

Gregston has also written What’s Happening to My Teen: Uncovering the Sources of Rebellion, Parenting Teens in a Confusing Culture, Tough Guys and Drama Queens, and more. His app Heartlight Parenting Today’s Teens features daily one minute radio programs and a weekend radio program addressing various issues that parents face today. The website http://www.heartlightministries.org/ is a one-stop-shop for parents searching for help with their teens.

A New Perspective for Moms Struggling with High School Graduation

by Karen Kinnaird | May 14, 2015

It’s our last one. This weekend, we will watch our youngest child walk across the stage and get her high school diploma.  High school graduation is the bitter and the sweet end of a season. It’s the closest thing our culture has to a rite of passage. It’s an event that many mothers dread, clinging to every last minute they have with their child. It’s an event that makes us look back over the past 18 years and reflect.

High school graduation is an event that also brings many emotions for mothers. Some experience pride, joy and anticipation. Some experience disappointment, relief and even fear. We hope and pray that everything is always going to go well for our child. We design a mental plan and map out how we want our child’s life to take shape. But sometimes things don’t happen like we planned. This past year has caused me to reexamine some of my own thoughts and expectations and see things from a different perspective.

Perhaps you hoped that your son would be a star football player, yet chooses to write music and play his guitar quietly in his room? Why not change your perspective and be grateful for the sensitivity, the creativity and the musical talent? Some have little appreciation for music and the arts.

Perhaps you have a daughter who goes to every party, every dance, every social occasion and you have spent a small fortune on dresses and accessories? Thank God for that socialite! She has friends, is emotionally well-adjusted and happy. Not every student goes to the prom. Some struggle getting out of bed in the morning.

Perhaps your child is not involved in organizations at school, but prefers part-time employment? Why not change your perspective and appreciate the value of hard work and income? Some students have no interest in working.

Perhaps you planned for your child to go to college but instead he desires to learn a skill or trade? Our society puts so much emphasis on grades and testing. We judge students by those standards, often overlooking immense talent and potential. Not every student will cut it in math and science. Mothers must give themselves permission to get past this and strive to instill healthy self-esteem and confidence in their child. Thank God that your son has an interest and a direction.  Some struggle for years trying to find their way.

Despite the differences, there are things in all our children’s lives that we can be grateful for. Our three red-headed children, although born to the same parents and raised in the same home are completely different from each other. One is artsy and spontaneous and became a vocalist and music therapist. One is quiet and disciplined and became an accountant. The third is still being molded into the young lady God intends her to be. God has made each one of them unique with their own distinct personalities, strengths and passions.  How do we handle this? Looking back over the past 26 years I would suggest:

1. Love each child equally and unconditionally. Each one is fearfully and wonderfully made.
2. Appreciate and embrace their unique personalities. God has a unique plan for each one.
3. Accentuate their strengths and interests. Give them opportunities to explore and grow.
4. Remember your time is limited. Do everything you can to pour into them in the short amount of time you have.

And finally, as those caps are thrown into the air, perhaps that should be our time to release them to God and let them go. For this Mom who didn’t get anesthesia with the birth of this graduate, it is just as painful. But, the writer of Ecclesiastes notes that there is a time for everything. Even graduating and flying out of the nest. The secret to peace is to accept God’s timings.  Despite the joy and the pain, He does make everything beautiful in its time. Perhaps you need to change your perspective.  It’s normal and healthy for kids to grow up, become independent and move on. Don’t dread it, enjoy it! Let’s get out of the way, let them go, and trust God to work out HIS perfect plan.