by Karen Kinnaird | Apr 5, 2017
It was the Oklahoma Ministers’ Wives Weekend. Standing in the dinner line, I looked up, and just a few feet ahead of me stood the pastor’s wife who served previously in the Oklahoma City church where my husband and I just concluded our ministry. I glanced behind me and just a few feet behind me stood the young pastor’s wife who followed me in our former pastorate in Stillwater, Okla. It’s a small world. In that moment, I reflected on our ministry journey in the midst of what represented the past, present and future.
“You never know where you are going to end up!” I have found myself saying this several times over the past 30-plus years in ministry as my husband and I have followed God on a journey that has woven us in and out of both pastoral and denominational positions. Only God knew that the place where my husband will soon return is one where he served previously. Ironically, it’s also where I myself serve.
Ministers and their families are called to a unique lifestyle. It’s one that requires a 24/7 commitment. It’s one that involves opening up our hearts, loving people and walking with them through the highs and lows of their lives. The responsibility that the pastor as a shepherd carries as he cares for the flock is weighty and one in which he is accountable to God.
When a man and his family give themselves to a congregation, the process of discerning God’s will to move can take months and be agonizing. Leaving a congregation is like leaving a part of yourself behind. Now, in the midst of transition, I am focusing on these ways to honor God:
1. Deal with emotions appropriately.
It’s normal to experience a mixture of emotions. Some experience sadness over leaving, grief over a change in relationships or regret and disappointment over unmet expectations. In some cases, if we’re honest, there may be frustration. There is appreciation for friendships, gratitude for God’s accomplishments and excitement toward what lies ahead. We would be wise to recognize this is normal and give ourselves time to deal with these mixed emotions. Focusing on the positive things God has done helps keep our perspective.
2. Conclude ministry commitments responsibly.
Wrap up projects, clean out space, return equipment, leave passwords. Leave a detailed job description and timeline for projects. Pray for and pave the way for your successor to transition as smoothly as possible. Prepare for them as you would hope the person you follow would prepare for you. Don’t be tempted to get lazy, call in sick, let things go or dump pressing decisions on others that should be taken care of on your watch. Dropping the ball in the eleventh hour hurts everyone. Serve wholeheartedly. We work for the Lord regardless of where we are serving. God calls us to lives of integrity.
3. Leave graciously.
Transition and upheaval in any organization can leave people feeling vulnerable. I am reminded daily, “Don’t let Satan get a foothold.” Think carefully before speaking critically about a former congregation or denominational entity. Refuse to speak evil. Keep relationships right and, if needed, repair relationships. In today’s world, relationships continue, even though the nature of them changes. Relationships we think are over may not be. You never know where you’re going to end up! Express appreciation and thanks to people and tell them what they have meant to you. Communicate to friends that you want to continue the friendship.
4. Evaluate the past with the future in mind.
Now is the time to stop and reflect. We should spend as much time evaluating as we spent making the decision to transition to another position. Consider these questions and write answers in a journal. This will not only bring closure but help keep a positive perspective:
- What has God taught me during this season of ministry?
- What am I grateful for?
- What would I have done differently?
- How can I keep the friendships that have been developed?
Let’s set the example and pave the way for those who follow and continue the work. We’re all on the same team, serving together as God joins our lives and moves us as He sees fit. You never know where you’re going to end up!
by Karen Kinnaird | Dec 22, 2016
“My daughter was on the production team for Rogue One.”
“My son just graduated with his doctorate from Harvard!”
“My granddaughter is touring with Taylor Swift!”
“My father is about to be President of the United States.”
We receive them every year. Our basket overflows with Christmas cards and letters from family and friends across the country. I’m being sarcastic with my examples. Like our Facebook postings and Twitter feeds, we pick and choose the best things to share and the best ways to portray ourselves.
I enjoy hearing from my family and friends and catching up on their lives – exaggerated or not. But did you ever have a year when you just couldn’t write the letter? Let’s take it a step further. Did you ever have a year that you couldn’t even read the letters you receive?
Are you one who can’t write the letter this year? Perhaps you’re in the midst of a crisis. Perhaps you’ve dealt with a terminal illness, battled an addiction, walked through a divorce, buried a loved one or been heartbroken over a wayward child. It could be awkward; it could be inappropriate, but most likely you don’t even have it in you to muster the words. Too personal. Too private. Too painful.
Are you the one whose pain is so great you can’t even read the letters you receive? It’s OK. Unmet expectations and disappointments are magnified during the holidays. Even in a desire to be happy for others, our pain screams louder, demanding the most attention. A new friend of mine recommends that, in those times, one just simply folds the letter back up, place it in the basket and say, “God Bless You!”
Are you one who can write the letter this year? Perhaps you’ve met that special person, rejoiced over a new birth, celebrated a child’s graduation or achieved a personal milestone. It’s been a year of joy, and you want to share it, and you should! Thank God for a year of blessings.
I am reminded this year that I should be sensitive to both the families who write that Christmas letter and the families who can’t. They’re both there, and I have experienced both myself.
I am happy for those who can write freely, sharing their family’s experiences. I grieve for those who can’t write freely, who have struggled throughout the year. We should pray for and reach out to the family whose pain forces them to put aside the annual Christmas greetings.
Let’s follow Jesus’ example when he said, “Rejoice with those who rejoice, mourn with those who mourn.”
Most importantly, God knows what’s on the letters of our hearts. He promises His presence, offers comfort in midst of the pain and hope for 2017.
by Karen Kinnaird | Oct 31, 2016
The billboards around Branson are right. Thou shall not miss seeing Moses! at the Sight & Sound Theatre. Just when I thought reading the account of the life of Moses couldn’t get any better, it did. This is a show you won’t want to miss.
The Sight & Sound Theatres in Branson, Mo. and Lancaster, Pa. are known for bringing classic Biblical stories to life. The theater incorporates well-written stories, live music, huge amazing sets, live animals and special effects in a state-of-the-art stage facility. The high-tech theatre is huge with massive screens, 3D imaging and laser which make scenes that include miracles come to life.
The story of Moses, as told in the books of Exodus through Deuteronomy is one of the most popular in the Old Testament. Throughout the story, Moses’ personality and character are transformed and shaped into the leader God intended him to be.
The show starts with a moving account of Moses and his mother. Seeking to save his life, she places him into a basket which floats down the Nile River – right through the center aisle of the theatre.
The story shows the plight of the enslaved Hebrews. The special effects during the scene depicting the plagues was so impressive it was hard to tell what was real from the images displayed on the screens. The miraculous turning of Moses’ staff into a serpent was amazing. The Passover scene allowed us to peek into the windows of Israelites’ homes with blood stained doors.
I got goose bumps listening to God speak to Moses through the burning bush. Feeling the cold wind on my face at the parting of the Red Sea made me feel like I was right there at the edge of the sea. The finale incorporated the writing of the 10 Commandments with an explanation that Jesus is our true Deliverer.
While the story is taken from the Old Testament, we were warned there would be some creative license taken. I did not find that this distracted from the true story. There was a brief gospel presentation and offer to pray with a member of the prayer team. The show is appropriate for all ages. It will give you a new appreciation for God as Deliverer of His people and Deliverer of our souls.
by Karen Kinnaird | Oct 3, 2016
“My story is like many other women I know – the mirror has lied, and the enemy has whispered for years, and now we can’t look at ourselves and find anything lovely…,” Annie F. Downs. Published by B&H Books, Looking for Lovely: Collecting the Moments That Matter by Annie F. Downs is a good read with a powerful message for women.
Overview
Downs shares her personal story of brokenness and her journey to healing by learning to learn to love life and find purpose in pain. She writes with vulnerability and transparency. She encourages readers to view life with fresh eyes to gain a new perspective. Downs’ writing style makes you feel like you’re sitting across the table, having lunch while engrossed in a deep conversation. The book is separated into three distinct sections.
In the Absence of Lovely
Downs begins with her painful childhood and describes struggles with patterns of quitting, feelings of ugliness and an undiagnosed illness. As a result, she turned to “mental self-harm, self-shaming, and hateful behavior towards herself,” which morphed into a food addiction. She describes her suffering when she states, “I’ve been struggling with this my whole life: Looking for the beautiful amid the rain, confusion, hurt and ugly.”
In Search of Lovely
In Section 2, Downs recounts her journey to recovery. In what is written as a series of short stories, she recounts how God helped her rebuild her life from the “broken crazy.” This wasn’t my favorite section of the book, but the overall theme is what is important. She finds beauty in the mundane, ordinary moments of life. She learns to appreciate the things God has placed in her everyday life – things that make her feel alive. It may be a place, an activity, a group of friends, a style of music or a favorite food. She gives herself permission to enjoy life – a good lesson for us all. “I’m filling my mind and eyes and memories with good things, good gifts from God, so that my tank is refueled,” she writes.
When I Found Lovely
In conclusion, Downs describes her new life. It’s a healthy life and one lived with a new perspective, appreciating those things God has shown her to be lovely. Ultimately she states, “I’m actually just seeing more of Him. Because in the end, that’s what this is all about. When you find Jesus, you have found lovely. He is everything we need.”
Conclusion
While any woman would benefit from the principles in the book, the style and content will appeal to younger women. The book would be most beneficial to young women experiencing a difficult season of life. It’s a quick, easy read and one that will inspire women to strive to be all they can be.
Downs will be one of the keynote speakers at the 2017 BGCO Women’s Retreat at Falls Creek Baptist Conference Center in April 2017.
“I want us to learn to look for the lovely all around us and collect it, hold it close, and see how God drops beautiful things into our lives at just the right time to help us step forward on our own paths.” Annie F. Downs
by Karen Kinnaird | Aug 25, 2016
Perhaps you’ve seen the original, perhaps you haven’t. Perhaps you heard of it, or perhaps you, like my adult children, are saying, Ben-Who? Either way, despite what the professional critics say, the remake of the celebrated 1959 epic and classic film Ben-Hur is worth going to see. Produced by Paramount Pictures with executive producers Roma Downey and Mark Burnett, this film stars Morgan Freeman, Jack Huston and Toby Kebbell. The original film was based on the 1880 Lew Wallace novel, Ben-Hur: A Tale of The Christ.
Plot Summary
Taking place in Jerusalem, and surrounding areas during Jesus’ day, it’s the story of Judah Ben-Hur, a Jewish prince falsely accused of treason by his adopted bother Messala, an officer in the Roman army. Judah is forced into slavery and spends five years in the galley of a Roman battleship. Racked with bitterness and hate, he eventually escapes and returns to his homeland. The revenge-driven Judah encounters Jesus and ultimately discovers forgiveness and redemption.
Positive Elements
The film was reduced to two hours in length. Who wants to see a three-and-a-half-hour movie anymore?
Jesus is a character in the film, appearing in several scenes teaching and ministering. The crucifixion scene, while short, is a pivotal part of the redemption story.
Scenes in the galley of the ship and the sea battle where Judah makes his escape were outstanding. The plot and some of the powerful scenes reminded me of the 2002 classic film The Count of Monte Cristo.
Ben-Hur’s chariot race lived up to its reputation as the chariot race of all chariot races.
Negative Elements
The film was reduced to 2 hours in length. The shorter length omitted some of the character development and plot.
(Spoiler Alert) At the conclusion, every subplot which appeared hopeless was quickly wrapped up with a happily-ever-after ending. While I was glad it all worked out, it bordered on being unrealistic.
MPAA Rating
PG-13 for sequences of violence and disturbing images. There was mild sexual content and little inappropriate language. This is not a movie for children.
Overall
If you have seen the original 1959 version of Ben-Hur and find yourself making comparisons, the movie might bring some disappointment. If you haven’t seen the original version, go see it for what it’s worth in its own right. For many, the original version is hard to beat. And who can fill the shoes of Charlton Heston? While it doesn’t succeed at everything, the movie is well worth going to see. Moviegoers will walk away with the hope that despite unfortunate events, mistakes and tragedies, there is hope for forgiveness, understanding and healing for every family.
Rating
3 out of 4 stars
