by Karen Kinnaird | Mar 5, 2019
The year was
2005. My home church was preparing to fully observe the Lent season under the
direction of a new pastor. At the time,
I was directing the Wednesday night children’s programming. Plans were being
made for a new Ash Wednesday evening service.
To give some
background to my confession, my husband and I served in New Orleans for 13 years where Catholicism is the predominant
religion. It was in New Orleans that we attended seminary, planted a church and
spent a significant amount of time sharing our faith and discipling people
whose families observed Catholic traditions for generations. In my experience,
it was difficult work reaching those who tie faith into a religion that they
are born into and to explain that salvation is by faith in Christ alone.
The brutal
confession—observing Lent in a Baptist church irritated me. After all, why observe
a Catholic tradition which I thought was, in part, holding back those who were
truly seeking a personal relationship with Christ? In addition, my well laid-out
plans for Wednesday night programming which required a predetermined number of
sessions was being interrupted!
I begrudgingly
complied and skeptically attended the Ash Wednesday service. Sitting in the
balcony, I prayed, “Lord, I might as well get something out of this. If there
is something you want me to do, please show me.”
Immediately,
I was convicted of my bad attitude. God clearly spoke to me and showed me what
He wanted me to give up for 40 days. It was a daily 30-minute TV show. Now, this
is a show that many wouldn’t give a second thought, but it had a hold on me.
For several reasons, God did not want me viewing it. Interesting enough, I have
not watched it since—in 15 years.
My family
moved to another city that year, but this year we have rejoined the same church.
I am reading my pastor Rick Thompson’s Lent devotional book The Way of the Cross and learning more
about this unique ancient Christian tradition.
Lent dates
back to 325 A.D. and is a season of reflection and preparation when Christians
seek to honor Jesus’ sacrifice for 40 days before Easter. Pastor Rick wrote, “As evangelicals, we
distinguish our theology from Catholicism, but that does not mean we should
thoughtlessly abolish certain long traditions simply because Catholics have
maintained them. I believe God has preserved certain ancient traditions within His
church over time to challenge and renew the hearts of His people.”
Pastor Rick
has served as senior pastor of Council Road in Bethany for 15 years and has a
heart to see evangelical Christians observe the Christian calendar. Published in 2017, The Way of the Cross takes readers through a 40-day journey of
spiritual reflection surrounding the events leading to the crucifixion of
Jesus. For me, not only am I learning a lot, I am gaining interesting new
insights and lots of personal application.
The book can
be read individually, studied in a small group or incorporated into a
church-wide Lent season. The Sunday reflection questions at the end of each
week provide overview and great discussion questions.
If observing
Lent is new to you, let me encourage you to participate by reading The Way of the Cross and by praying
about either taking something away or adding something new to your life for
forty days. I pray you will be challenged and your heart renewed.
by Karen Kinnaird | Feb 12, 2019
Eager
to immerse myself into a book that has caused quite a buzz in recent months, I
settled into my recliner with a blanket and cup of tea, ready to be entertained
and inspired. Shortly after, glancing down at only page number 43 I had to
close the book. I thought to myself, “I can’t
do this. I can’t live like this.”
Published
by Crossway in 2018, The Gospel Comes
with a House Key – Practicing Radically Ordinary Hospitality in Our
Post-Christian World isn’t just about hosting the monthly Sunday School
fellowship. Butterfield writes about “radically ordinary hospitality” where people
“see their homes not as theirs at all but as God’s gift to use for the
furtherance of His kingdom.” Resembling homes of first century Christians, this
type of hospitality views “houses as hospitals and incubators” and where one
“risks getting close enough to people to get
hurt.”
The
type of daily, radical hospitality that Rosaria Butterfield writes about is completely
out of my comfort zone. Sensing conviction, my conscience was soon relieved as
I rationalized two dates scheduled on my calendar to open my home—one to host
an overnight retreat for the young women in my home church and another to host
church planting wives in my area. This, however, is not exactly what Rosaria Butterfield
is referring to.
This
manner of hospitality doesn’t worry about matching dishes, dirty windows or
weeds in the garden. It’s the kind that is OK with not knowing how many will
show up for a meal. It’s the kind that doesn’t care if someone else’s hairy dog
sleeps on the couch. It’s the kind that gets up at 4:30 a.m. every day to start
cooking or the kind that sacrifices luxuries to accommodate a higher grocery
bill—every week. The meal may be beans and rice, or soup and fresh bread, but
the focus is on relationships with people who may be different and hold
different worldviews. It focuses on safe conversations with open Bibles, which
build trust between skeptical unbelievers and authentic Christians.
Butterfield is a former tenured professor of English and women’s studies
at Syracuse University. As a former atheist, LGBT advocate and feminist, she
was dramatically converted by means of hospitality herself in 1999. Rosaria is
married to Kent, a Reformed Presbyterian pastor in North Carolina, and is a
homeschool mother, author and speaker. She is an advocate for adoption, foster
care and SAFE Families for Children. Butterfield is one of the keynote speakers
at the BGCO Women’s Retreat at Falls Creek in April.
The book is a
blend of autobiography and theology. Butterfield writes in the first person and
invites readers into her life as she shares her devotional life, her home life with
her pastor husband and adopted children, and unique unconditional love for her
neighbors. She writes about her difficult childhood, complicated relationship
with her mother and her time in the LGBQ community. She writes skillfully about
incidences requiring church discipline. The story of the reclusive next door
neighbor Hank who gets busted for the meth lab in his basement is compassionately
woven throughout the book.
I highly
recommend The Gospel Comes with a House
Key for both men and women, married and single. Warning: it will step
on your toes. Butterfield doesn’t
pull any punches. She is unrelenting in her stance on sin and repentance. The book will challenge
your evangelistic efforts and cause you to examine your relationships with
different and difficult people in your neighborhood and life.
Perhaps
it is time to recognize the idols of comfort, control, safety and security that
have subtly taken precedence over the Lord. Perhaps it is time to confess that
we’ve made our homes private sanctuaries and stop using excuses of being incapable
or too busy.
In
the end, I was entertained and inspired, but I was also convicted, challenged
and called to action. Reality is, I really can’t do it. This is the fruit of a
Spirit-filled life. My life won’t look just like Rosaria’s, but with God’s help
I can do better—a lot better.
by Karen Kinnaird | Oct 31, 2018
“Teach what is good…” (Titus 2:3)
Oklahoma native Kelly D. King has new book, Ministry to Women – The Essential Guide for Leading Women in the Local Church, hot off the press. Published by LifeWay, this book is full of essentials – practical helps and creative solutions for intentional ministry to women. The nine-chapter resource should be a part of every women’s ministry leader’s library. Packed with valuable information, it’s written in a condensed, easy-to-read format.
Kelly D. King is the women’s ministry specialist for LifeWay Christian Resources where she coordinates training and equipping events for women in leadership. King served 11 years as the women’s missions and ministries specialist for the Baptist General Convention of Oklahoma. Gleaning from years of hands-on experience in the local church and statewide ministry, King writes about the importance of using methods dynamically to reach women based on the ever-changing cultural landscape.
This interactive manual will benefit seasoned leaders, desiring to keep their ministries current and vibrant, as well as aspiring leaders just getting started. King incorporates Scripture throughout the book along with heartfelt personal stories. Each chapter includes challenging application questions and places to take notes.
Addressing issues such as the rise of the millennial generation, changes in communication, ministering in a post-modern culture and the rising interest of women as leaders, she gives sound advice for constantly evolving ministries. Readers are encouraged to customize these practical tools and apply them to the context of their own church.
With a solid theological framework, the book features:
- The why of ministry beginning with prayer
- Building and leading a team
- Discipleship which includes choosing a Bible study and creating a great Bible study atmosphere
- Connecting generations
- Communicating with intentionality and creativity
- Planning purposeful events
- Ministering to women in pain and crisis
- Creating a welcoming atmosphere and seeking evangelistic opportunities
My favorite chapter was “Connecting the Generations,” where King shares personal stories about women who mentored her. Encouraging personal relationships within Biblical community, King writes, “…we’ve forgotten the simplicity of how the local church should be connecting the generations and providing natural mentoring opportunities.” She discourages programing and encourages more intentional, strategic mentoring through existing relationships. This “realistic approach” allows godly women to share their life experiences, along with the Word of God and prayer with younger women.
King also addresses skills that appear to be simple and basic – skills that one would assume people know how to do, but in reality may not have been taught, such as:
- How to lead an effective team meeting and make an agenda
- Proper use of social media in a ministry context
- Tips on visiting someone in the hospital
- Steps for planning an international mission trip
- Tips for including ministry wives and working with male staff members
Every women’s ministry leader needs to get a copy of Ministry to Women- The Essential Guide for Leading Women in the Local Church. It’s available in print and e-book at www.lifeway.com. Use it as a handbook and refer to it throughout the year.
by Karen Kinnaird | Oct 9, 2018
Your ministers may not mention this annual occurrence because they don’t want to bring attention to themselves, but October is Pastor-Staff Appreciation Month. Initiated years ago by H.B. London and Focus on the Family, showing appreciation can have a huge impact on ministers, their wives, their children and ultimately the church itself.
I’ve served as the wife of a minister who has served in various capacities over the past 33 years, as well as worked alongside many ministers and their families. It’s a special privilege to serve, but I can tell you firsthand the need for encouragement and affirmation. I have witnessed an all-out spiritual attack on ministers and their families.
A 2015 Lifeway research study shows:
- 80 percent expect conflict in their church.
- 54 percent find the role of pastor frequently overwhelming.
- 53 percent are often concerned about their family’s financial security.
- 48 percent often feel the demands of ministry are more than they can handle.
It takes someone to champion the cause
Many churches graciously express appreciation to their staff corporately and through the church budget at various times of the year such anniversaries and Christmas. Some do not do anything. Pastor-Staff Appreciation Month is a unique time in which church members are encouraged to do something individually and personally. Just like any other cause, it takes someone to spearhead the effort – to champion the cause, even if it is simply placing an announcement in the Sunday worship bulletin, church newsletter or social media.
In the late ‘80s my husband served as the pastor of a church plant in a suburb of New Orleans. Money was tight for us and the church. Someone took the initiative and organized families to bring us a meal for seven consecutive nights. As a church planting couple, I worked full-time while my husband completed seminary classes and while we were raising babies and balancing the household together. Those meals were a huge blessing to our family.
Years later, after moving to a pastorate in Stillwater and into a home with little storage, the doorbell rang unexpectedly and a china cabinet was delivered. A group of families chipped in and made a perfectly matching purchase. Another year, a similar group sent us to a Bed & Breakfast and made arrangements for our kids to spend the night with church friends. Someone championed the cause.
Over the years, my husband has been blessed in many ways. One favorite is a personal note with a word of appreciation citing a specific time he ministered to them or a sermon that God used to speak directly to them. He’s enjoyed a basket or bag with a few things he mentioned in sermons that he enjoys like Dr. Pepper and Reece’s or humorous gifts. One year, a family gave him a book of pastoral cartoons with cash inserted in the pages.
The benefits for the ministry spouse
It’s been said that the pastor’s wife can be one of the loneliest people in the church. The pastor is the focus of a lot of attention, and often she can get lost in the shuffle as she serves behind the scenes. She carries the private burdens of her husband, carries confidences of the private lives of church members and bears the weight of various church matters. She strives to be gracious and discreet while keeping right relationships. She guards her husband, children and home, attempting to keep priorities in order and balance busy schedules. The God-called spouse knows better than anyone the sacrifice her husband makes to serve God’s people.
Remembering your ministers for Pastor-Staff Appreciation Month will help your staff spouse to feel valued and loved and to persevere. It will inspire her. Make an intentional effort to show her love. Value her unique giftedness. Ladies, reach out to her and do not compete with her. Get her out of the nursery. A minister’s wife who is strengthened will strengthen her husband.
The benefits for the children
Being a pastor’s kid is very hard. All eyes are on them, and they are held to a high standard – a standard that is different from the other kids. Often they feel pressured and like they can’t measure up. Your staff’s kids NEED to know you appreciate the selfless work of their father.
In turn, this will make them feel valued. How many pastor’s kids grow up and don’t want anything to do with the church because they’ve seen the way their father has been treated? They need to see that people really do appreciate their family’s service, and it’s worth it. This can have an impact on them for years to come.
Your pastor and staff need encouragement. It doesn’t need to cost a lot of money. The best thing to do is to look at your pastor and his family and ask, “What can we give them that will meet a need and help them feel loved?”
Tell them you love them. Lighten their load, unclutter their life, have their back when there is controversy, guard their privacy and give them space for their family.
Pastor Appreciation does nothing but make the church better. There is no downside. God will not bless a church above what they bless their pastor. Express your love and appreciation to your ministers this month!
For more ideas and a downloadable brochure go to www.bgco.org/ministries/leadership/pastor-staff-appreciation-month.
by Karen Kinnaird | Sep 25, 2018
I love it when God takes a life that the enemy was determined to destroy and not only redeems it but turns it completely around to use it for His glory.
Recently, I went to Bartlesville to hear the miraculous redemptive story of Laura Perry who struggled with issues of sexual identity and lived as a man for almost nine years. You can read about this in my article “Prodigal Prayer Ministry – The Fruit of a Mother and Daughter’s Transformed Lives” which will be featured in the Oct. 4 edition of the Baptist Messenger.
Laura spoke with a unique combination of vulnerability, gratitude and graciousness. Her testimony included humor along with tears of brokenness as she recalled the pain she experienced. She radiates a peace, joy and contentment that only comes from a God who can transform the heart. Laura’s testimony titled “Former Transgender Set Free by Jesus Christ” can be viewed at www.comegrowwithmeonline.com.
One of the unique parts of Laura’s story is that it is deeply interwoven with the relationship with her mother Francine. Often we pray for a prodigal’s return and overlook the work God wants to accomplish in the lives of their family members.
Francine has taught a growing Bible Study since 2013 and had always described herself as a “doer and fixer.” Out of desperation, she tried everything in her own strength to help her daughter.
She finally came to the point where she admitted this was something she could not fix. This was a pivotal moment of surrendering to the Lord and was a turning point for both mother and daughter.
As a matter of fact, Laura attributes the noticeable change in her mother’s life, along with the Word of God Francine was teaching in her Bible study lessons to change her. The change in her mother was an actual witness to Laura.
The ladies in Francine’s Bible study group prayed fervently for Laura in her darkest days. Upon Laura’s return home, they welcomed her home with complete acceptance and even provided funds for her to buy women’s clothing.
After hearing Laura’s testimony, I had the privilege of joining with a group of about 40 ladies who are committed to pray for prodigals. Inspired by the miraculous answer to their prayers for Laura, this prodigal prayer ministry began.
These women representing several local churches stay for one hour after Perry’s Bible study every few weeks to stand in the gap and intercede for prodigals. Nearly 500 people’s names from all over the world are listed on cards in a basket they call the prodigal prayer basket. To date, 16 names have been prayed out of the basket, and Laura herself is right there praying with them.
Afterward, I had lunch with Laura, Francine and the leader of the prodigal prayer ministry. They spoke with an intense burden for those trapped in sin and those who have abandoned their faith. But they also have confidence and hope that God is intervening in these young people’s lives.
Through prayer, repentance and surrender God will restore the years the locusts have eaten (Joel 2:25-32).
