by Karen Kinnaird | Nov 10, 2014
Gratitude. It’s a virtue that we hear a lot about, but how many of us have truly set our minds to be consistently thankful? How many times do we remind our children, “Say, thank you!” Gratitude is not something that comes naturally. It takes initiative, it must be intentional. It is a discipline that we must practice and incorporate into our lives.
The Hebrew term for gratitude means “recognizing the good”. There are many benefits of gratitude. Psychological studies will prove that gratitude will improve your health, boost your career, improve your relationships, and help you live a happier life. From a spiritual perspective, gratitude brings an increased awareness of God’s presence which in turn lends itself to more gratitude.
John Ortberg states, “More gratitude will not come from acquiring more things or experiences, but from more of an awareness of God’s presence and His goodness. It’s a way of looking at life, always perceiving the good. Gratitude is a by-product of a way of seeing things.”
As Christians, we recognize God as the benefactor of all good things. The Bible says that God richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. I stumbled across a blogger who did a tremendous amount of research on this topic. Although he states he is not a religious person, he did note that gratitude increases spiritualism. He writes, “I am irreligious, and have found gratitude practices to make my spiritual position difficult – those moments when I feel intense gratitude make me want to believe in a benevolent God. My solution has been to re-direct my feelings towards Lady Luck.” I pray that one day He will re-direct once again and admit God as His source!
Perhaps you are thinking, “It’s easy to give thanks in good times, but times are aren’t good. Matter of fact, they are pretty bad.” We are to be thankful in all circumstances. We thank God because we can trust Him. We trust Him because of His character –He is loving, kind, and merciful. He has a plan.
Gratitude contributes to a healthy soul. I recently completed the study Soul Keeping by John Ortberg. Similar to what the Israelites did, we were challenged to write down 15 blessings each day in the form of “Bless You, Lord, for.” Even in the midst of suffering and trials, even when we don’t feel like being grateful, there are many, many things we can be grateful for. Writing them down helps us to recognize the good and causes us to give God the credit. He has not forgotten us even in the worst times. Gratitude changes our perception. It helps us keep perspective. It focuses our minds on the things we ought to be thinking about.
This Thanksgiving season, I challenge you to pursue a life of gratitude. Forget not all His benefits. Count your blessings – past, present and future. Write down your blessings daily this month in the form of “Bless You Lord” and let Him prove to you that He is present, He is good and He is Sovereign.
Psalm 92: 1-2 “It is good to give thanks to the Lord, and to sing praises to Thy name, O Most High; To declare Thy loving kindness in the morning, and Thy faithfulness by night.”
by Karen Kinnaird | Oct 14, 2014
For many Christian families, Halloween can be a real dilemma. Some embrace it. Some avoid it. Some choose an alternative. Halloween is one of those “gray areas” in which families need to pray and make a decision as to what is best for their family in good conscience before God.
Many of our Halloween rituals are rooted in pagan rites and superstitions. According to www.history.com, “The Celts used the day to mark the end of the harvest season and the beginning of winter, and also believed that this transition between the seasons was a bridge to the world of the dead.” On this New Year’s Day, people would light bonfires and wear costumes and masks to scare off roaming ghosts. Wiccans today celebrate October 31 is the highest day in Wiccan witchcraft. But for many, Halloween has transitioned over the years to a day of costumes and candy.
Personally, Halloween is my least favorite “holiday”. Unfortunately, it’s not going away. The National Retail Federation is predicting Halloween spending to reach a whopping $7.4 billion this year. This year promises big business due to the fact that Halloween is on a Friday night.
Going back many years ago when our children were young, my family chose not to participate in Halloween. The pagan roots of the holiday, along with the satanic practices of the day, bothered us, and we could not be part of it in good conscience. After several years of frustration on the part of our kids, our oldest daughter asked if she and her brother could go trick or treating if they handed out a gospel tract to every home they visited. My husband agreed. Since then we have changed our stance. We’ve chosen to take advantage of the evangelistic opportunities the day brings.
Perhaps you can make it a teachable time as well. Here are some suggestions for Christian families:
* Dress children in Bible or God-honoring costumes that will cause others to ask questions and start conversations. Teach children about who their characters represent.
* Purchase kid-friendly trick-or-treat gospel tracts and give them out with good candy, not the cheap stuff.
* Attach a homemade Scripture or message to the candy.
* Order candy from companies that have a Scripture printed on the inside of the wrapper.
* Most importantly, gather with your children and pray for the salvation of the families in your neighborhood.
I’ve come to realize that Halloween may be the best night of the year to gather with neighbors. In our neighborhood, Halloween is one of the few, if not the only night of the year when neighbors actually get out of their homes and mingle. Think about it. Your neighbors are actually coming to your door. For those with young children, you have the opportunity to go to their door and introduce yourself without awkwardness. You may interact with more neighbors on Halloween night than you do all year long. Perhaps churches should consider having their Fall Festivals and Halloween alternatives on a night other than Halloween so we can be in our neighborhoods on Halloween night?
Regardless of what we decide is best for our family, we do need to respect our Christian brothers and sisters who choose to celebrate the holiday differently than we do. This is one of those gray areas that should not divide us.
This Halloween, let’s invest spiritually in our neighborhoods. Let’s unlock those doors, tastefully decorate the porch, turn on the lights, buy some decent candy and get out on that porch. Let’s demonstrate Christian love and hospitality. Welcome the children, meet the neighbors, build relationships and be a light in a very dark world.
“You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in Heaven” (Matt. 5:14-15).
by Karen Kinnaird | Sep 29, 2014
Depression. Anxiety. Lack of purpose. These are some of the issues addressed in Rebekah Lyons book Freefall to Fly: a Breathtaking Journey Toward a Life of Meaning. Lyons is cofounder of Q Ideas, a nonprofit Christian leadership organization. Lyons will be featured as a keynote speaker at the 2015 Baptist General Convention of Oklahoma’s Women’s Retreat. In this vulnerable memoir, Lyons shares her journey involving a move from Atlanta, Ga. to Manhattan, N.Y. where she is faced with a season of crippling depression, anxiety and panic attacks. Coupled with her quest to find meaning and calling in the midst of motherhood, it isn’t until she surrenders that she finds freedom.
Women today face pressures that are taking a heavy toll. Many struggle with depression or deal with the underlying angst of losing sense of purpose and self-identity. The rise of loneliness, depression and anxiety among females in our culture is at an all-time high.
* According to the National Institute of Mental Health women are 70 percent more likely than men to experience depression during the course of their lifetimes.
* The Journal of American Medical Association indicates that in the 20th century, people who lived in each generation were three times more likely to experience depression than those in the generation before them.
* Lyons states that one in four women will suffer some form of depression in her lifetime, and the majority of women wrestling with this are in the 25-to-45 age bracket.
* Lyons also states that 23 percent of women between 40 and 59 take antidepressants regularly.
What is it about modern culture and its expectations that is breaking women down in unprecedented ways? Perhaps it’s stress of modern life, the pace, a lack of community, the pressure to balance work and family. Are our roles and responsibilities contributing to the fact that we are losing sight of what makes us unique? Lyons suggests that in an attempt to support and help husbands and children find their own meaning and purpose, women are sacrificing finding their own.
Freefall to Fly is written in a style that allows readers to watch Lyons think through her journey. The first part of the book describes her intense struggles while the second part describes her journey of healing. She credits several things:
* God’s presence through the difficult journey
* A weekly gathering with like-minded friends
* Penning a gratitude list
* Unearthing her own set of unique gifts and talents which gave way to understanding her calling
Most importantly, she recognizes that God allowed her to go through this season to help her find meaning for her own life.
It wasn’t until Lyons fully surrendered herself to God’s calling that she experienced freedom. She states, “Each of us must find our own path to totter down as we seek to live out our purpose. We must find those God-given gifts that make us uniquely us, and then pair them with a burden that those gifts fit like a key. When we do, rescue will flood into our lives. And in the deluge, we’ll begin to discover meaning.” In Freefall to Fly, she invites all women to take that first step toward freedom. For it is only when we free-fall that we can truly fly.
by Karen Kinnaird | Sep 10, 2014
Two families. Two backgrounds. Two countries. Two challenges. One family in America and one family in Rwanda. Two fathers. Two daughters. It’s a true story about what fathers will do to protect and provide for their families, even in life’s most difficult circumstances. It’s a story about healing, forgiveness and reconciliation.
My home church recently showed a premier of Veritas Entertainment’s new documentary “Through the Valley” , a faith-based and inspirational true story about how God orchestrated the circumstances and events of two hurting families. This is not your typical Christian film. The film interviews family members while showing a dramatization of their story. The Pan Pacific Film Festival announced their 2014 Stellae Awards, naming “Through the Valley” in the Best Mission Category. The Religion Newswriters Association (RNA) named “Through the Valley” as a finalist in the Broadcast category of its 2014 Contest. Kingdomwood Film Institute selected the documentary into it’s 2014 Kingdomwood Christian Film Festival.
Meet Randy, father of a Nashville family, living the American dream, yet distraught over one of his teenager’s rebellious behavior. My heart broke as Randy and his wife struggled to help their daughter, Andrea, through a traumatic season. An interest in Rwanda was sparked when Randy’s family sponsored a girl in Rwanda. It wasn’t until a mission trip to Rwanda that Andrea saw people more wounded than she but still with hope. It was then that she decided that she could move on.
Meet William, father of a Rwandan family, relying on the generosity of others to get by. William’s family experienced firsthand the horror of the Rwandan genocide in which 800,000 people were brutally murdered in 100 days. Barely escaping death several times, the family eventually relocated to America. Both families sought God throughout their struggles, relying on Him daily but unaware that He was orchestrating events that would eventually bring them together. In the end, one father brought his child to Africa, and one father took his child out of Africa.
Veritas Entertainment, maker of the films “End of the Spear,” “Beyond the Gates of Splendor” and “Last Ounce of Courage” is a media missions organization. Their goal is to get churches to use the film as an outreach event to bring people of all ages into the safe environment of the church and be impacted by the Gospel. Veritas partners with His Truth Transforms , an organization which provides counseling for those dealing with issues addressed in the film.
“Through the Valley” will resonate with those going through trauma, shame, guilt and unforgiveness. Due to pictures and discussion of the genocide, as well as discussion of sexual molestation, I would give the film a tentative PG-13 rating. I would recommend that only those over the age of 12 view the film.
The film shows the Gospel being lived out. It shows that when we serve others, God uses that service to heal even the greatest hurts. “Through the Valley” is a missional film, inspiring people to reach out beyond their own culture in order to share Christ. It is a wonderful outreach tool for churches to reach a lost community through a Family Movie event. Since the film deals with topics that so many struggle with, I recommend a response time and an offer for spiritual counseling and further help. “It’s often hard to see God’s love when we suffer, but we should always remember He will never leave us and He will bring us through the valley.”
by Karen Kinnaird | Sep 3, 2014
Many of us cringed when we saw the recent video of Victoria Osteen saying, “I just want to encourage every one of us to realize when we obey God, we’re not doing it for God! I mean that’s one way to look at it, we’re doing it for ourselves because God takes pleasure when we’re happy…Just do good for your own self. Do good because God wants you to be happy. When you come to church, when you worship Him, you’re not doing it for God really, you’re doing it for yourself because that’s what makes God happy. Amen?” Of course, this is heresy and irrational. It’s self-idolatry. It’s feel good religion and not the truth. I wondered, why is she up on that platform? Does she have the theological training, and spiritual maturity which would make her qualified to speak to that? Perhaps she should sit down and be quiet!
I realize Osteen’s church views her as a ‘co-pastor.’ In reality, most pastor’s wives have no official training. I have a whopping one hour of seminary credit from New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary for a wonderful course on The Minister’s Wife. My degree is in Business. As a young minister’s wife and new Christian I thoroughly enjoyed the class and soaked up everything that was taught. But all these years later, all I remember is the importance of sex and writing thank-you notes.
Many pastor’s wives struggle with feelings of inadequacy simply because they are placed in a position of leadership and authority without any training or preparation. I was a Christian for only 2 years when I married and found myself as a staff wife in a large New Orleans church. Back in the old days when we did not have cell phones yet, I would answer the many phone calls we received at home in the evenings when my husband was out. One of the first calls I received was from a young man threatening to take his life. My first thought? I’m not prepared for this! What am I to say? Can you hold off killing yourself until my husband gets home? No. I prayed for the right words and stumbled my way through the conversation; until my husband got home. The young man was fine in the end. The next call was a theological question. The caller assumed I would know the answer. As we spoke, I prayed and flipped feverishly through the commentary and references in my Bible. I found the answer!
I have made many pastoral wife mistakes over the years. I’ve spoken when I shouldn’t have, not spoken when I should have and given poor advice. My intentions were good, but lack of experience and immaturity got the best of me. Unfortunately, sometimes it still does. Of course we all, including Victoria, need to learn from our mistakes and admit when we say something ridiculous.
Ministers’ wives who do not have the opportunity to have formal ministerial training will get their training on-the-job. Maturity will come over time and with experience as we grow spiritually, seek resources, spend time with wise mentors and rely on the Holy Spirit to guide us. I do believe that ministers’ spouses and families are called by God. But, we should be careful not to presume that just because we are married to a minister that automatically qualifies us to handle all situations prematurely. While I’m not making excuses for Victoria or her errant theology, I do hope we give all our ministers’ wives some grace and room to blow it from time to time.