by Emily Howsden | Feb 11, 2019
I don’t know exactly how it happened, but over the past few years (or so it seems) it’s like people are no longer allowed to enjoy Valentine’s Day without being shamed for celebrating someone in their life that they love.
Maybe this isn’t the case in your circle, but in mine, or
more specifically, on my list of Facebook friends, there are a lot of people
who just seem to hate Valentine’s Day. Sure, Hallmark and other big companies
have capitalized on this holiday, making it super profitable for themselves.
But I like to think of myself as a Valentine’s Day purist. I’ve spent Valentine’s Days single, in a dating relationship and now married. But one thing I’ve always done, no matter my relationship status, is make sure to tell people that I hold dearest that I love them.
Some make the point that you shouldn’t need a holiday to tell someone you love them and do something special for them. I agree, you shouldn’t just tell the people you love how you feel just one day every year. However, what’s so wrong with making it an even bigger deal, or going further out of your way to tell someone you love them?
When I was single, I spent Valentine’s Day with my sisters and moms, three of the people I love most in this world. Those are times I look back on fondly. Could I have spent the day full of cynicism, brooding and wishing everyone happy around me would keep their joy to themselves? Sure. But would that have made me feel better?
When I was dating, I didn’t forget about my mom and sisters, or my friends, or my nephews, or other family members. No! Because Valentine’s Day isn’t just about expressing romantic love, Valentine’s Day is a day where we can live out Matthew 22, the greatest commandment ever given.
“‘Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?’ Jesus replied ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ ‘This is the greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”
I’m not going to lie and say I enjoyed every single second of being single, but I can say I grew tremendously in that time and learned to look outward, and be happy for my friends who did have the God-honoring relationship of their dreams.
Here is my challenge to you, whether you’re single, dating, married or widowed: Take time this Valentine’s Day to show love to someone in a non-romantic way. Maybe visit a nursing home, or pay a visit to a widower. Maybe someone in your family needs your love and affection on Valentine’s Day? Maybe your significant other has made plans for the two of you, take time before those plans to bless someone else this Valentine’s Day. There is no shortage of ways you can tell someone you love them.
For example: Fold someone’s laundry in your home (This came to mind first because it’s one of my least favorite chores). Do the dishes for your mom or dad if you still live at home. If you have a roommate, be the first to take out the trash. If you have children, maybe take over one of your husband or wife’s daily duties with the kids and give them some time to relax. Take someone to coffee or lunch. I’ve found there are no shortage of people who like a free meal.
I challenge you this Valentine’s Day to not make the holiday about yourself, but make it a day to serve others. I can almost guarantee you it’ll be one of the most joyful days once you focus on showing your neighbors love rather than looking inward.
by Emily Howsden | Feb 4, 2019
This topic has been swirling around in my head since I heard
the news of the state of New York legalizing late-term abortions.
Grief was the first thing I felt.
Grief. Not only for the innocent lives that will be taken, but grief, also, for the mother who feels like abortion is her only option.
I will admit, another feeling I felt was anger. How could anyone be so selfish? How could they think their life is more important than the life of another human being? Their body has worked HARD to create life, and they feel justified ending that life? It makes no sense.
And then again, grief struck. For the mom that will never feel the joy of holding her baby for the first time. For the family that won’t be able to enjoy their newest member, in their sparkling and glowing newborn wonder.
Grief. Grief for the mom that will never see the eyes of their little one and marvel at the fact that, not long ago, that baby was inside her womb, growing and becoming the tiny human that will on some days only want their mommy. While those days can be hard, I can assure you any mom who has felt the bond of motherhood with her child, will surely tell you it is worth the struggle, and while it is hard, it’s also entirely rewarding to be the only thing that can make their child feel better.
Grief. For the poor, sweet, innocent baby that won’t be able to experience a myriad of “firsts.” Their first time to experience the outside world, their first time to sleep through the night, their first foods, the first time they sit up, their first steps, which will inevitably be followed by their first scraped knee. That poor sweet baby.
Grief for the mom that feels so scared, alone, in danger, uncertain of her own future. I feel grief for that mom that made the decision to terminate her pregnancy. As someone who is a mom, I know the feelings of desperation, fear and impending danger that it takes to hold a baby in your body to term. For that reason I can’t imagine the amount of grief that would come after making the decision to terminate the precious gift of life.
Amidst all of this grief and admittedly, asking God why He would allow such evil things to happen, I felt something else.
Hope. Hope for the lost and lonely world, that through the courage of myself and my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, we would share with them the hope that Jesus Christ offers through a relationship with Him.
Hope. Hope that after they know about the grace, forgiveness and redemption of Jesus Christ that they would find peace and refuge under His protective and loving arms.
Hope. Hope that the future of our country doesn’t rest in the hands of any one lawmaker, or in the courtroom of any one courthouse, but that the Omnipotent God of the universe is in control.
Peace. Peace that the little ones who suffered at the hands of our sinful world are now in heaven and out of harm’s way. Peace that one day they might be reunited with their earthly parents and live eternally in heaven, where there is no more pain, disease or fear.
I encourage you, before you hand out judgement about abortion, consider that most women who have an abortion don’t do so joyfully. Meet them at the feet of Jesus with grace, peace, comfort and love.
Join me friends, on Wed., Feb. 6 at the Oklahoma State Capitol for the 28th Annual Rose Day Pro-life Rally. Come with red roses to hand out to your representatives as they are the ones who speak to the pro-life issue in our state. Take action. For more information about Rose Day, visit https://www.bgco.org/ministries/erlc/events/.
by Emily Howsden | Jan 21, 2019
Have you ever taken the time to listen to one of Martin Luther King Jr.’s speeches?
I don’t mean just the quotable parts, I mean a full speech. This is the second year in a row I’ve chosen to listen to a full speech from Dr. King, and while I originally planned to write about the speech, I think it’s important that you, dear reader, hear the words of the last speech that Martin Luther King Jr. made on this side of eternity.
His words are important. He speaks the Gospel and truth of Jesus Christ. Please read this excerpt from his “I’ve been to the mountain top” speech.
…..
“One day a man came to Jesus, and he wanted to raise some questions about some vital matters of life.
“At points he wanted to trick Jesus, and show him that he knew a little more than Jesus knew and throw him off base. Now, that question could have easily ended up in a philosophical and theological debate.
“But Jesus immediately pulled that question from midair and placed it on a dangerous curve between Jerusalem and Jericho. And he talked about a certain man who fell among thieves. You remember that a Levite and a priest passed by on the other side; they didn’t stop to help him. Finally, a man of another race came by. He got down from his beast, decided not to be compassionate by proxy.
“But he got down with him, administered first aid, and helped the man in need. Jesus ended up saying this was the good man, this was the great man because he had the capacity to project the “I” into the “thou,” and to be concerned about his brother.
“Now, you know, we use our imagination a great deal to try to determine why the priest and the Levite didn’t stop.
“At times we say they were busy going to a church meeting, an ecclesiastical gathering, and they had to get on down to Jerusalem so they wouldn’t be late for their meeting. At other times we would speculate that there was a religious law that one who was engaged in religious ceremonials was not to touch a human body 24 hours before the ceremony.
“And every now and then, we begin to wonder whether maybe they were not going down to Jerusalem, or down to Jericho, rather, to organize a Jericho Road Improvement Association. That’s a possibility. Maybe they felt it was better to deal with the problem from the causal root, rather than to get bogged down with an individual effect.
“But I’m going to tell you what my imagination tells me.
“It’s possible that those men were afraid. You see, the Jericho Road is a dangerous road. I remember when Mrs. King and I were first in Jerusalem. We rented a car and drove from Jerusalem down to Jericho. And as soon as we got on that road I said to my wife, ‘I can see why Jesus used this as the setting for His parable.’
“It’s a winding, meandering road. It’s really conducive for ambushing. You start out in Jerusalem, which is about 1,200 miles, or rather, 1,200 feet above sea level. And by the time you get down to Jericho 15 or 20 minutes later, you’re about 22 feet below sea level. That’s a dangerous road. In the days of Jesus, it came to be known as the ‘Bloody Pass.’ And you know, it’s possible that the priest and the Levite looked over that man on the ground and wondered if the robbers were still around. Or it’s possible that they felt that the man on the ground was merely faking, and he was acting like he had been robbed and hurt in order to seize them over there, lure them there for quick and easy seizure.
“And so the first question that the priest asked, the first question that the Levite asked was, ‘If I stop to help this man, what will happen to me?’
“But then the Good Samaritan came by, and he reversed the question: ‘If I do not stop to help this man, what will happen to him?’
“That’s the question before you tonight. Not, “If I stop to help the sanitation workers, what will happen to my job?’ Not, “If I stop to help the sanitation workers, what will happen to all of the hours that I usually spend in my office every day and every week as a pastor?’
“The question is not, ‘If I stop to help this man in need, what will happen to me?’ The question is, ‘If I do not stop to help the sanitation workers, what will happen to them?’ That’s the question.
“Let us rise up tonight with a greater readiness. Let us stand with a greater determination. And let us move on in these powerful days, these days of challenge, to make America what it ought to be. We have an opportunity to make America a better nation.
…..(speech shortened; for full transcript of the speech, visit here.)
“Well, I don’t know what will happen now; we’ve got some difficult days ahead.
“But it really doesn’t matter with me now, because I’ve been to the mountaintop.
“And I don’t mind. Like anybody, I would like to live a long life—longevity has its place.
“But I’m not concerned about that now. I just want to do God’s will. And He’s allowed me to go up to the mountain. And I’ve looked over. and I’ve seen the Promised Land.
“I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight, that we, as a people, will get to the Promised Land.
“And so I’m happy tonight; I’m not worried about anything; I’m not fearing any man. Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord.”
…..
Now friends, go and live the unashamed life the Lord has called us to live. It’s risky, but as Dr. King said, “I’m not fearing any man. Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord.”
by Emily Howsden | Jan 14, 2019
I’m here to discuss a topic that has me #triggered. If you aren’t familiar with the term, being “triggered” is basically a word that younger generations are using to describe something that offends them. So this is what triggers me in the church: toxic tithing.
First, let me tell you, if you aren’t currently tithing at least 10 percent of your income, now is a great time to take that step of obedience. If you are younger and still establishing your career or don’t have a steady paycheck, it’s hard, I understand.
But no one said following the Lord and being obedient to Him would ever be easy. Tithing is of the utmost importance. As a Christ follower, you are to give your tithe offering faithfully and with no strings attached. End of story.
Now that that is taken care of, for those of you who do tithe… do you truly give with no strings attached? I am sad to say that I have heard people in the church say things like “Well, we tithe to the church, so we should have a say in what happens there.” What a sad, sad day for the Church when the body of Christ gives with that kind of heart.
I was thinking about this, then I came across an article by Thom Rainer, president and CEO of LifeWay Christian resources. He wrote an article called: “Five reasons why ‘we pay the bills’ at this church is such a harmful attitude.”
Rainer says first, this kind of attitude “makes giving more like paying country club dues than biblical stewardship.” This sense of entitlement is dangerous, and poison to a church. All churches are under the rule of one person and one person only, God. No other person should manipulate a church by opening their wallets.
That was Rainer’s second point, that conditional giving is manipulative. Rainer said, in a sense, this is like holding a church hostage. Does that sound like something Jesus would do if He were attending a church today?
Third, Rainer pointed out that this kind of giving is a way of circumventing, or finding a way around, the budget. For example, someone thinks they would do a better job of deciding where the church spends their money. That isn’t how the Church works. Again, this kind of giving is sinful and prideful.
The fourth reason, and I think the most problematic reason, is this kind of giving “creates a different class of members in the church.” The church was not meant to operate how the outside world operates. No one person is loved more by God or loved less by God because of the money in their bank account.
In Matt. 11:38, it says, “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” What it doesn’t say is, “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden and have X amount of dollars in your bank account.”
Finally, the last and most important reason to not give in to toxic tithing is because “it is contrary to the servant spirit of Christ.” Here I will directly quote Rainer who says, “Jesus was crystal clear on His mission. He did not come to be served, but to serve and to give His life as a ransom for many (Matt. 20:28). Some church members utter the toxic statement, “We pay the bills at this church” to get their own way. Jesus made the sacrificial statement that He would put others before Himself, so much so that He would die for others.”
I beg you, don’t give with strings attached. Search your heart and ask forgiveness from the One who gave the ultimate gift without strings attached, His Son.
by Emily Howsden | Jan 7, 2019
I’m not sure if you’re familiar with the Cyntoia Brown case out of Tennessee that has gained national attention. Brown was granted clemency (mercy or lenience) on Monday, January 7 after serving 15 years in prison for killing the man who bought her in the human trafficking sex trade.
Brown killed the man when she was just a teen, yet she was tried as an adult and given life in prison that required a minimum of 51 years of service. After her case sparked national outrage, lawmakers in Tennessee revisited the case and treated her like a victim, rather than a perpetrator.
Here I sit, in my office in Oklahoma City. A city that is known for our sports teams, our new streetcar, and being one of the nation’s biggest cross roads for sex trafficking of women and children. But is this a topic we discuss and actively pursue how to bring about change? Sadly, for most Oklahomans, no.
Because of the central locations of Oklahoma in the United States, at the cross roads of Interstate 35, I-40 and I-44, Oklahoma City is a hotbed for one of mankind’s most despicable sins, human trafficking/modern day slavery.
A few reasons why Oklahoma is such a hotbed for human trafficking are: our incarceration rates, leaving children practically orphaned while their parents are in jail; the high-teen pregnancy rate, which feeds into the incarceration rate of parents, the vicious cycle of addiction passed down for generations because of the above mentioned problems and our location.
What can we, as the Church and body of Christ, do to combat these staggering facts? It’s going to take us getting out of our comfort zones, but I think, primarily, discipleship is a way to combat our state’s problem.
Join a mentoring program in which you can be paired up with a child whose parent or parents are incarcerated. These children need guidance and someone to look up to. Be that person for them. One program that has ample resources and ways to connect with prisoners and their families is the mentoring ministry through Prison Fellowship. This ministry is responsible for programs like Angel Tree during Christmas time.
Next, with Oklahoma having one of the highest incarceration rates in the country, I think it is clear what needs to change. People need Jesus. Jesus is the answer to all of our problems. He is the answer to government shut downs; He is the answer to legislation problems; He is the answer to addiction and He is the answer to a heart change that needs to happen among believers today.
Much like Brown was granted clemency, as Christ followers, we should be the first to offer mercy to the struggling and lost world. Share the Good News of healing, restoration, freedom from addiction and freedom from lives of slavery to sin.
Other steps to take to be positive change in our state include being alert and recognizing the signs and watching for behavior that looks out of place or abnormal. Not all indicators are present in every human trafficking situation. However, if you feel someone is in danger, always report it.
For help or to report suspected human trafficking, contact the National Human Trafficking Hotline: 1/888/373-7888 or submit a tip online at www.ice.gov/tips.
I don’t know of her spiritual fate, but I am relieved that Brown was granted clemency and hopeful that the rest of the days of her life here on Earth are free from human trafficking. I am also hopeful that she can proclaim she is forgiven and set free, in more way than one.
Oklahomans, let’s do our part to bring about the winds of change in our state because human trafficking is not “OK.”